Catching Idle Butterflies

Contrariness

Contrariness isn't an accepted word in our language, but it describes well what I'm feeling right now. I had a good day, spending most of the afternoon with Dave and Tom at a demolition derby.

The weather was a fabulous 75 degrees, a welcome change from the 90-100s we've been having all summer. At one point, a line of black clouds flew overhead, dropping no rain, but bringing a cold wind. Not a problem since I was smart enough to wear a long sleeve shirt. At the tail end of the wind came a rain shower. Now I was cold.

When we all finally decided we couldn't tolerate she shivering, we went back to the truck to grab coats and sweaters. Yep, the sun came out, the wind stopped, and we didn't need them after all the moment we arrived at the truck.

But we still got to watch cars destroy each other, though the engine sounds can make a person go deaf, and we ate lots of food supposedly bad for you like bratwursts and double cheeseburgers (sorry David McClain ).

Overall a good day.

So why am I feeling maudlin? Could be hormones, or a combination of that and an email I received from my sister asking me how my folks are doing up here. She then added this line: "Hopefully you don't have to see them much."

Granted, living only a few miles from them, she's had to deal with them much longer than I have - 15 years longer. But she's also assuming that I feel the same as she does.

I used to, but I don't now. Perhaps I will again given time, or maybe God has taught me some patience after all. I don't mind spending time with them. I understand and accept their quirks (though not without momentary frustrations, but that comes with being a member of a family).

There are many bumps in this road in that Mom is adamant about staying, and Tom hates it here (that's mostly due to him thinking he will hate it here without giving it a chance; one of those 'self-fulfilling prophecy' things).

I have to remind myself my parents are adults. They will figure out what to do on their own. All Dave and I can do is be there whenever they need us, regardless of the decisions they make.

I guess what bothers me the most is my sister's bitterness toward Mom. On the one hand she says she doesn't care, but then she writes comments like that. She does care and wishes she didn't. All I can hope for is that one day she can let it go and simply love Mom, quirks and all. Life is far to short to carry those caustic emotions around inside. If I didn't know that before, Mom's panic attack cemented it for me.

Since I don't want to leave this entry on a sad note, I will share with you a moment of accidental humor.

That's all I know how to do, accidental humor. When I try to be funny on purpose, it falls flat, and I get only blank stares or shaking heads for responses.

This most recent accident happened just the other day. PastVoices left a comment in my entry about me hating when life intrudes on what I want to do. She said, "When life knocks, you have to answer."

Not until after I received a response from my response to her did I realize it was funny. I wrote:

"The problem is, life doesn't just knock. First it uses the doorbell, then it pounds on the door making the house shake, and when I don't answer soon enough, it breaks down the door and screams HELLO! LIFE IS HERE! GIVE ME YOUR ATTENTION NOW!"

I hope you find it as funny as PastVoices did. If not, well I'll try having another accident later.

Oh wait, I'm not supposed to try.

How 'bout this? I'll try not to have an accident later.