Windchimes

There's no way

There's no way anyone could be as worthless as my 18 year old daughter has the talent to make me feel. She just gets in certain moods, sometimes, and will respond to anything I say to her with a tone that screams "why the hell are you bothering me with that?" or "what is it this time?"

Maybe all this is getting magnified out of proportion due to my state of withdrawal, but whenever I hear other kids talk to their parents in that tone of voice, I feel just as shocked and dismayed. Do all 18 year olds react to their mothers like this? Did I talk to my mother this way? Oh my god. Did I make my mother feel like this?

I try to keep a tough shell on, but it's getting to me today. I may not be anything close to the perfect mother, but I don't think I deserve this kind of treatment. I don't think anyone does. I just don't know what to do about it, or if there's anything to do about it. It sure makes me feel very unmotivated to try doing things she asks me to do. On the other hand, I'm at least pretty sure I'm the only person she treats this way, except maybe her father. We seem to be her emotional ashtrays.

On happier situations, today is my oldest daughter's 22nd birthday. I'm sure the day will get better as the hours pass.

J.H. Larrew
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