Journal

Update

So my life today. Well it has been more than a year since I updated this blog. I am currently living with my love, Will. We stayed together, although there were numerous ups and downs through out the long distance relationship. Alex creeped back into my life sadly, my weakness for his bullshit endangered my relationship with Will. But after creating drama and heartache i realized some things, I want to be happy and secure. Alex can never make those two things happen at the same time. I could not trust him. So after a breakup with will and a weekend with Alex I came to my senses. I broke up with Alex and luckly Will is a better person than I am and he took me back. But it really was not easy for the first couple of months, and he still doesn't trust me 100%.
Other things.... well Alex (once again the fucking downer of my life) told people that he was going to have sex with one of my friends lets call her Betsy.... anyway after i broke up with him he bragged all over that he was going to do it. And, well, he did. She got drunk one night at his apartment at a party in phx, and he raped her. She called me when she woke up and drove the three hours and we went to the hospital for a rape kit. Lord, it was a hard period, it's still not over. Right now she is trying to go through the legal chanels but it isn't looking to good, and other stuff has gone on which i cannot bare to talk about right now.
Well, living in the dorm was quite an experience. I met and bonded with several intrsting new people and hopefully our friendships will last. My roomate as i guessed really wasn't one of them. She was odd; at time s she would be my best buddy and we would scheme together. At the worst she was a passive agressive judgemental bitch. guess which one she was most of the time? By the end of the year it was terrible, I tried desperately to change rooms but things just did not work out. Well I will remember my experiences in the dorm for the rest of my life and i will use them as learning experiences.
So, Lisa's parents bought her a condo and it is currently in construction, it is supposed to be done within the next two weeks but that isn't looking promising. I am supposed to be living with her along with another friend of ours from my dormitory. Lately lisa has been odd and hard to get ahold of and i'm a bit apprehensive about us living together. Time will tell i suppose. My family isn't thrilled that I am living with my boyfriend and living with friends gives me more independence I guess.
I have had a trying couple of months. This past month has been my most independent month of my life and it's fucking terrifying. Already i have had to pay $600 to get my car fixed, then it got hit, then it got broken into, all the while I was struggling to find a decent paying job. Not even counting the emotional issues that have been in my life recently. Betsy, wrote me telling me that I am pretty much a terrible human ect.... Lots of drama, that truly hurt me. Truly caused me pain. I guess you learn important things about live through mistakes and pain rigt?
Well, it's 2 am and I'm lonely, will took a small trip back home to take a break from the heat and bullshit of tucson. I am alone for the first time in a while and its lonely. Will is my rock and i love him so dearly, I only pray that he feels the same way....