what matters and why

mental breakdown

He says that the children hurt. Because of choices she made. She chose to leave. She chose to take the kids and establish a life without him. And now they are suffering.

"A mental breakdown," he tells her, referring to their 8 yr old son. "And when he asks, I tell him I will wait for you to be ready for us to get back together." A breakdsown. The wording is a little extreme. But maybe if her uses extreme methods, she will return to him. Out of guilt? Out of love for her children? It's what he wants. To have her. It doesn't matter that if she does make that decision, she will be miserable. Her happiness is not worth anything to him. To see her happy hurts him so much he doesn't know how to handle it. He wants her with him. And their son, who is adjusting to his parents' difference is used. By him. He tells his son that he will wait for his mother forever, that he loves her and always has. He's so small. What did he do to deserve to be in the middle of a completely awkward situation? And why should he feel like he has to make a choice?

She goes out, and she has a good time. He tells her the kids will suffer because she chose happiness over a suffocating marriage. He reminds her constantly that her decisions are self serving, and she should be ashamed of the choice to leave.

A choice to leave. What else was left? A life that on the outside was somewhat bearable. He was tolerable. His addictions were discreet. Some she was not even aware of. All she knew was that every day, he pushed her a little mroe to a breaking point. whether it was something she discovered by going through his accoutns or something he said when he got home late at night.

"He is not doing well," he tells her. Only one year has past. He still holds on, thinking her can change her mind. He means nothing to her. With the exception of the kids they share. "He is depressed." And if he is? Why can't they work together to help him? Her instict tells her to disregard. He has said so much in the past. Nothing he says has any meaning. She has moved on from the manipulative conversation. but with that, she disregards all that is said that might actually hold some sort of truth.

And if she responds, he will assume there is hope. There is a chance that she will change her mind. She will take him back and all will be well. Why, she wonders, does he believe it's that simple? He must think very little of her. To believe that she would make that decision after all her put her through. She can't respond. She has to stand her ground and not allow him to take control again. Ever.