Mother Nature Meets Father Time

Fantasies Part 2

I was so tired, I don't even remember crawling into bed. I just knew I did not want to answer that phone. I looked at the caller ID. It was Lenny? Oh I must be dreaming again!

"You gotta wear your dress uniform, hun," he was saying, "You can't go to a military funeral in civis. It is just not right. What about respect and all? I know you are better than that."

"Lenny," I pleaded, "I am almost out of the Army, and my jacket doesn't fit me anymore. I can't breathe with it on."

He replied, "You only have to keep it on for a couple of minutes when you first arrive. Then you can carry it on your arm. It is totally acceptable. I do that all the time anyways, just because I hate wearing all the layers. You can pull this off!"

There I stood. I was suffrocating in my Army dress uniform. I have always hated funerals. Why did I let him talk me into this? I could not breathe. I just knew I was going to faint. Where was he anyways? He promised he would be here. Oh no! It was John, and he was headed right towards me!

John had his usual scowl across his face, as he looked me dead in the eye. He spoke in almost a half-whisper, yet firm tone, "If you are going to wear it, then it should fit. Otherwise, be more respectful and take it OFF!" Uggh.

John always had to be like that with me. No matter what situation may have arisen. Lenny would convince me I would be okay, and then when Lenny wasn't there to protect me, John would lecture me against whatever Lenny had told me to do. You would think a couple of best friends might actually communicate once in a while!

My gaze scanned the numerous toy soldiers standing with perfect posture. I could not find Lenny anywhere, and John was hanging just behind me. I could feel his beady little disapproving eyes attacking me from behind. I could not breathe. I had to take this jacket off. I was going to faint for sure.

I reached up for the top button, and the same cold, disapproving tone struck my right ear, "Don't do that. You wore it, so you might as well wear it. You take it off now, two things will happen: one, you will freeze because there is too much air in here, and 2, you will draw too much negative attention, because it is too cold to be hanging around in here, carrying your blazer instead of wearing it."

That settled it. I would soon faint, if Lenny did not fly in and rescue me. I could forget about him sweeping me off my feet. He would soon need to scrape me off the floor. And he said he didn't want to have to do that anymore (long story). I found a seat, but it was too crowded, so I could not relax near the edge with more room to breathe. I hated the crowd. I was agoraphobic, aside from my straight jacket blazer of my dress uniform. Where was Lenny anyways?

So the ceremony had started, and I finally found Lenny. He had been recruited to speak, and was now at the podium. I traded spots with some woman holding a crying baby, who had been sitting in the front row. I would not be able to make my necessary escape, but at least in the front row, I would have more free flowing air and a good view to Lenny. I would also be farther from "Big Brother" (John). I tried to relax, but then this sickly feeling came over me. Lenny focused his gaze on me long enough for me to realize he was concerned.

Then it happened. POP! What was that? Oh no! It was a button off my blazer. Well maybe nobody noticed. Lenny noticed. A slight chuckle escaped as his eyes showed me where my button had landed, about three feet from his left shoe. Then they all popped! Buttons flew everywhere and Lenny ducked, as if he was under attack. He stood back up and finished his speech. Then as he retreated to the back of teh room he passed my way and grabbed me.

"Come on," he was laughing, "we better get you out of her before you explode." It was too late. I looked down, and it was not only my jacket of my uniform which had lost its buttons. My dress shirt was also wide opened. We ran out of the service, hoping no one realized our tears were laughter tears. We ran to his car and hopped inside. He started the engine, and we drove away.

"Don't worry," he said, "we made an appearance. Everybody probably thought you were just upset. I thought you were going to carry your jacket?"
"Lenny, won't you ever consult with john before you give me advice? He made me keep it on! I thought I was going to pass out, for real!"
Lenny was just laughing and driving. I never even asked him where we were going. We stopped in front of his motel room. He looked at me and smiled, as he slowly caressed my face, and then brushed the edge of my blouse ever so softly.

"I like it better like this anyways," he whispered. Then he kissed me. I think I fainted because I didn't remember anything else. Then my alarm sounded, and I awoke, at home, in my own bed, alone, as usual!

Natural Spring