Moniek Nodaikmo itzit Hiapnoduav

Hola

I think that I'll race through my life at this point just to bring y'all up to date.

I am a shy, quiet girl who can't help but to stand out in a crowd. I never asked for golden curls or a tall frame. I try to fix this by slouching, but it rarely works. Add having an autistic little brother who will walk up to anyone who happens to walk by and start talking to them and introduce me as his sister whenever I'm nearby. I have to smile and accept the odd glances I get from the people he talks to. Most are kind old ladies who smile, some are busy and think that he's crazy for even trying to talk to them. Some are guys who are just plain confused, but play along. Yeah, shopping.

Living in a big family where everything has its own political game under the smiles is tough, so I generally ignore it. Aunt Suzie says something bad about grandma, I shrug and smile. Grandma says something bad about Suzie, I shrug and smile. Aunt Mary comments that I laugh a lot and gives me a look I know means she thinks that I'm crazy and embarasses me in front of my entire family, I don't tell her that I think that she's an inappropriate b****. That is unfair of me, though. She just thinks that girls should refrain from indulging themselves into the vulgar humor of men. I laugh when I think something's funny. She doesn't seem to laugh at all. Which would you prefer? I'm sorry. This is another piece of my personality. I'm insecure and usually socially inept.

If you want an insight to how I deal with stress, take last Christmas. Only half the family showed up, (per usual), but even that was enough to cramp up my grandmother's house. As I had spent the night there Christmas Eve-Eve there already, (a holiday celebrated by cleaning, cleaning, and for a change of pace, more cleaning) with my grandmother and my aunt at each other's throats. I was not in the best of moods and was certainly in no moods for well-wishers I only see four times a year nor the screaming children. I went through both of the gift-giving ceremonies (one for my grandparents' grandchildren and another for all of the children), I was more than happy to settle down in the middle bedroom with the trans-siberian orchestra's christmas album (in between ceremonies) and the new backstreet-boys cd (after second ceremony) blasting in my ears as I read my grandma's copy of The DaVinci Code. My mom came in to check on me and told me that I had to go back out and talk to people. I think she saw that I was about ready to break, but insisted that I leave the room. Instead I went outside with my cousins without a coat (one of my mom's pet peeves). Outside I climbed a tree, my cd player still with me. I zoned out there for a while and when I was feeling better, (actually, I believe it was when the batteries of my cd player died), I put my new cd player away and was dragged back outside by my cousins Eric and Aaron. I swear, if they aren't gay with eachother, they're really good actors. Anyway, Eric and I climbed a tree and out of nowhere my other two cousins, Grant and Masen, started throwing snowballs at us. They could be professional out-fielders how hard those things hit us, (and they were pretty far away, too!).