Breathing Room

To Be or Not to Be

Dave's younger sister is pregnant. I know this is supposed to be in a time where this isn't as big a deal as it used to be, which is definitely true. But in many households like the ones Dave and I grew up in our parents would much rather us be married and so forth.

The fact is Dave's dad (well step-dad although he sees him as his dad -but that's another story) had his kids young and out of wedlock -although him and his former wife eventually married. In his rare case, once they divorced he retained custody of his kids. He's a great dad. He worked full-time, went to school full-time all while raising three kids which is no easy feat. The point being that his kids know how tough it was for him, especially before he re-married (Dave's mom -when he was 11).

Nevertheless 6 years ago Dave's other sister got pregnant and she ended up dropping out of college and working to take care of her son. His dad wasn't happy about this but of course he helped in every way he could and loves his grandson. Now the youngest sister has seen all of this. She knows all about her dad's struggle in the beginning being a single dad AND going to school. She then watched her sister struggle with her son and NOT make it to school. Dave's point is she should have learned. What should it have taken for her to learn from other's mistakes and to take a new route. He thinks she shouldn't have it and she's not ready for a child.

One, I believe in a woman's choice whole heartedly. The fact is she is 22 years old. So she's not exactly a child or pregnant in high school. Do I think she should have learned? -definitely, but many times no matter what you do or say to your kids, they are dead set on learning the hard way.

Dave kept saying over and over how he didn't understand how she could let this happen. Didn't she use protection and why wasn't she more careful? Now he finally said this one too many times and I looked over at him and said,"Oh you don't possibly have ANY idea how that could have happened?..none," I mean seriously. He looked at me and started laughing. "Well..." Exactly. Don't get all high and mighty because you've been lucky so far...but you've had "scares". Suddenly he has a clue

Unfortunately this situation will force his sister to grow up and realize what sacrifice is all about. Now I am no parent yet and I'm not speaking as if I know how to raise a child because I don't. BUT I do know from my parents, Dave's parents, friends, and situations like Dave's sister that parenting is no small job. Sacrafice is a major aspect and I can honestly say that for now I'm selfish. I'm about me and my career, and going out to the club or out for a drink after work or any number of things that don't force me to back out because I have to rush home to be a mommy. When I do become a mommy I'll gladly accept those responsibilities but until then drinks are on me