Breathing Room

Fond Memories

My grandfather passed away yesterday. It was totally unexpected to me. I knew he'd been ill for some time now, not being able to really talk or feed himself or be able to walk and just do activities that the rest of us take for granted on a daily basis. But despite knowing this, I expected him to be around for a while. I was planning to visit in the spring when another cousin of mine would graduate from Spelman in Atlanta which would be the perfect opportunity for me to visit my family in Alabama.

I'm so saddened by the fact that my grandmother is left alone. They were together for over 60 years and all I can think about is that when she falls asleep at night that familiar warmth of my grandfather will no longer be there.

I've never been one to shy away from older people. Ever since I was young (not to long ago) my parents always had me and my siblings around our grandparents and so it has always been natural for me to be able to converse and interact with the elderly. I feel people can distance themselves so much from generations that feel so foreign to them but are part of their history.

My grandfather was part of the original Negro baseball league before the league became integrated. He coached a team and was very integral in putting African-American males in the sport. I remember him telling me many stories of the various great players he used to coach and play against and the social battles they fought to prove themselves. My uncle Oscar played for the New York yankees in the 70's and so baseball is a big part of my extended family in Alabama.

I,myself have always been active in sports: tennis, track and basketball. He used to love that I played basketball (I was really good) and I used to always tell him that oneday I would give him a million dollars (at the time I meant to play professionally) and he loved this. It tickled him so much and I never failed to remind him every time I saw him.

A couple of years ago my granny passed away in Alabama (a little confusing but I have 2 grandmothers) and he was very close to her. It makes me happy that now they can meet up again but that much sadder because I miss them both very much. Alabama isn't the same without them for me. Coming from California, it was a lot different but I embraced my country side of the family whole-heartedly. I knew no matter what that I would always have some great cooking wherever I went down there.

I remember a few years ago on a visit down there my grandfather asked me to drive him to the country. When we were younger and eager to drive my siblings and I would always jump at the chance to drive to the country where my grandfather raised cows. Now I was a bit older and not that eager to drive to the country -where believe me there is absolutely positively NOTHING to do (and how my father grew up in the country is beyond me)- but my grandfather wasn't driving as well as he used to and this would be a great chance for us to have some time together. Now my grandfather is or was a hunter and he used to tell many stories of deer hunting and eating the meat. Hearing the stories were one thing but I never dreamed of being in one of the stories. On our way back a deer ran leisurely out on the road and stood there watching us for a while. The road is pretty narrow so I was pretty much stopped until s/he decided to move on. Then my grandfather gets the great idea that he'll shoot the deer and I'll help him carry the bloody carcus back to the truck to carry home. I prayed so hard not knowing what to do. I did NOT want to kill a deer nor touch a dead one. My grandfather pulled out his shot gun all the while I'm telling him this wasn't a good idea, but to no avail. God intervened because at this point my grandfather realized he had no bullets and so he had to put off killing the poor deer. I was ridiculously relieved and he was quite disappointed.

Despite my grief I'm happy to have had a grandfather and I'll always cherish the memories of the many summers I spent in Alabama visiting. Now he can continue watching over me from a more comfortable position.

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My grandfather is in the middle flanked by his wife, my grandmother on the left and my granny on the right...he looks like a pimp!

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I'm the light blond girl (if you can tell) up front

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I'm on my granny's hip, with my grandma Mary next her, my mother is next to her with my older sister on her hip and my grandpa Jimmy is next to my mom...I think I was like 3