Go Ahead and Ask Me

You Say, "How's the Weather?"

So I look out the window to brighten my soul
But I can't control
The rain that keeps falling.

Again, basing self-worth on my ability to 'land a man' is not an accurate measurement.

I had been doing very well. Even with convictions about my spiritual life, and even with the changes going on inside, I'd been doing wonderfully.

Skip the next paragraph if you don't want to hear religious stuff.

(God called me to stop being spiteful and to start imitating him and love people unconditionally. I was grudging a very good friend for very minute things. Then he reminded me. He said, "Wait a second, I loved you enough to do dishes for you.... I loved you enough to forgive you of everything you had ever done wrong, and I didn't just forgive, I forgot about it. I didn't bring it up for kicks and giggles every couple days...." So I let him change me, and the person who I couldn't stand to be around for more than an hour or two without really getting angry with her? We had a real heart-to-heart, we actually talked a lot about God during it, but I also admitted things to her that in my past circumstance with her, I wouldn't have trusted her enough. God has also called me to lose my jealousy- he placed my family like it is for a reason. It will be amazing, whatever he has in store for us. He's done so many cool things in my life... This is the first time that I've had Christian friends whom I truly find genuine friendship with them, and I want to hang out with them on a regular basis. I want to just go to the mall, or eat dinner, or do homework together. I love these people.)

It's safe now.

Please note that I don't want to hide my faith from the world, but that I respect the fact that everyone is not comfortable with me shouting my convictions aloud.

But yes, self-worth has nothing to do with being engaged when I graduate from here in *sigh* another 3 years... Universities TRY to make everyone stay for 5 years instead of the traditional 4. Of course, it would help if I could afford to take more than 13 credits at a time... Gar, life.

School is not about getting married. Almost every girl I know has it in the back of her mind that if she doesn't find a man in college, she's just not going to find one.

I saw screw that. Men are not that important. (Not meaning that you don't have value, but simply that I'm not going to devalue myself just because I'm not engaged.)

Oic, there are days when I really wished that I used windows... today is one of them.... My CD/DVD drive does not work. I thought it was a software problem, but guess what? It's hardware. Like my printer, it's a physical problem. No amount of compy-know-how will do a thing for this problem. Gar.

So yeah, this is a Sunday of Reflection.

Thank you for your time.