Bloggin' Umholtz

Just when you think you're out...they pull you back in!

Honest,

I was really planning on making a number of blog entries this past week. My employer, the fine people of the Commonwealth, had other ideas. So I just had time to unpack, kiss my wife and Ii was off again. True, they were day trips, but between trying to wrap everything up at work and do the same, in anticipatioon of tomorrow's surgery and two week "vacation", the blog got lost in the shuffle. I know many of you are probably waiting with anticipation to find out what happened to Turrtle, so before I leave for the hospital today, I will attempt to bring you up to speed.

One other note before I begin the rest of Turrtle's saga. My wayward son, otherwise known as the Vice Chairman of Wildlife, has agreed to update my blog in a day or so and let all of you know how the surgery went. I'm not sure what else he'll say, but just remember, this was the same son that when he was younger, and building a fort in the woods, managed to hit himself in the head with a claw hammer...the claw end no less. Enuff said.


One of you expertly picked up on the fact that one of Turrtle's favorite foods was goldfish and that did not bode well for the goldfish in the pond. I lobbied long and hard against introducing turrtle to the pond, but as is often the case, this here "King of the Castle" lost out. ANd so it was, one bright and sunny spring afternoon, Turrtle was transported from his wintertime home to the pond. The VC of Wildlife placed him in the water. Turrtle floated for a minute checking out his new environs and then promptly sank from sight.

The VC looked at me with a puzzled look. I shrugged my shoulders and together we stared at the black murkey depths waiting for Turrtle to surface.

He didn't.

I pointed out to the VC that turtles have the ability to stay under water for a very long time, a fact that I personnally thought ay good VC of Wildlife would have known.

We waited some more.

Nothing.

At this point the VC of Wildlife took matters into his own hands and began searching the bottom with his hands for Turrtle. Numerous rocks and a couple of rootballs later, up came Turrtle in his hands. He was promptly returned to the denizens of his indoor aquarium.

The VC pondered the pond placement of Turttle. Being ever the good dad and wanting to assist my son in his learning and growing. I suggested a couple of methods that might work.

"How about glow-in-the dark spraypaint?" I offered. "It would make him easier to spot."

For some reason that didn't go over big. I then suggested he use either a tether or a radio transponder.

In the end, Turrtle was resigned to live out his days in our house, with occasional forays into the backyard for sun and such.

Turrtle was well cared for and well fed I might add with goldfish from our pond. Eventually as he grew older, he required more attention than the VC was able to give. At that point he was handed over to the VC's former girlfriend who is also a lover of animals and he currently resides with her, just as fat and happy as possible.

Me? I finally got to run a train. Sse?