Bloggin' Umholtz

What the heck is a turtle trail?

Note to my devoted readers: Some of you have inquired about photos of the outside version of the NPD & S. Yes, there are photos. Umfortunately they are not digital so I need to scan them. My scanner is sitting on my desk at work, so please be patient and I will add the photos with in a few days.



It has often been said that misery loves company. I find just the opposite to be true. I had managed to negotiate the right – of – way for the N. P. D. & S and the cost had made me miserable. My newfound vice chairpersons were however, not miserable. They were quite gleeful and in my opinion made very poor company.

Construction of the N.P. D. & S. proceeded somewhat slowly. Having devoured all of the garden railroad reading material I could lay my hands on and having drawn numerous designs on everything from a napkin to the back of a report that was read by one of our Department Chiefs… no, he wasn’t a railroad fan… I decided to just build the darn thing.

Being in my 40’s I knew I didn’t want to work on my hands and knees so I decided to raise the railroad above the current grade of my yard. I also decided that if money were to be spent it would be spent on trains and tracks, not on retaining walls. Some might question the wisdom of this, but so far it has proven sound. I set goals for the first season of construction on the railroad. First would be the construction of approximately 50 ft. of stone retaining wall. Stone I might add that has been carefully handpicked by me, one piece at a time, from the numerous stone storage areas in our area known as township roads and areas marked with the unusual sign “Free Fill”.

I have no idea who Fill is or what crime he has committed but he sure has some nice rock.

My second goal was to place on layaway at Wally world a pond liner and all the necessary accessories such as a pump and goldfish. Hint: It has been determined by the V.C. of Wildlife that goldfish do not tolerate several months in a cardboard box very well. What a valuable part of the team he has turned out to be. Rock hunting went very well and I was able to complete the wall by early autumn.

The V.C. of Horticulture was able to free up the necessary funding to get the pond and pump out of hock and it was installed also. All was looking well until the V.C. of Wildlife told me he had been thinking. A teenager thinking… this could only mean a couple of things. One, he fell and hit his head or he had contracted a rare disease, which resulted in a high temperature and delirium. With some trepidation I quietly asked “About What?”

“Turtles” he responded.

“I see.” I said thoughtfully. A pregnant pause ensued. (Just what is that anyhow? How can one pause being pregnant? And if it is the pause that is pregnant…how did that happen?) Ouch, I just gave myself a headache.

“Well,” he said; “we have a pond and we’re going to put fish in it and if we’re gonna’ have fish then we should have frogs and if we’re gonna’ have frogs we should definitely have turtles and if we’re gonna’ have turtles we will need a turtle trail.”

There you have it. A turtle trail. I shuddered to ask but I did anyhow. “ What’s a turtle trail?”

“A turtle trail is just that, a trail of water. A little creek that the turtles can walk back and forth along to the other pond.”

I chuckled, a river, he wants a river to the other pond. How cute. Calling a river a turtle trail… “WHAT OTHER POND?!!!!!!” I asked.

“Oh, did I forget to mention we need another pond?”

IIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next Installment “Of Bug eyed fish and tadpoles”