Out of the Frying Pan

Good Ol' Mountain Dew

As I mentioned before, I had Hillfolk as kin in Kentucky. I’m gonna have to explain a few things to help y’all to understand what that was like.

Most of us had nicknames or abbreviated names. If you went and asked where my dad, Glen, was, they wouldn’t have known who you were talking about. Yet if you asked them where Shoodhe (pronounced should-he) was, they could tell you where at that exact moment. Well, this is about my cousin, Cec (Cecil). Cec had polio as a child and ended up wearing leg braces on both legs. “Poor Cec,” some would say, others knew him as one of the finest Shine makers around. You see, in that part of Kentucky it was still dry. If you wanted liquor, you either went to Ohio or you went to find Cec.

He drove around in an old ’53 Ford pickup. It was painted (at one time) a primer rust color to match the rust. It had controls on the steering wheel for Cec and nobody else could drive it. In the back, he kept a case of Ball’s mason jars filled with Shine – except for the one he kept between his legs. Medicinal purposes, ya know.

The Sheriff couldn’t say nothing if you only had enough for yourself and you weren’t selling it. But we knew the jars in the back were his samples. Everybody liked Cec, even church people would look the other way, figuring he needed the extra income. That was, except for Sheriff Howell, who swore he would catch him with more than he should have, or catch him making one of his famous disposable stills.

Now these fellows (Cec and his friends) worked hard to make the Shine. Let me give you a tour of one of their stills.

First there’s the location. It has to be near a creek or some other water resource. They’d bring up barrels to soak in the creek so they swelled up nice and tight, and this took about a week. The coil you’ve seen on TV – this is how it was really made: they’d find a tree about eight inches in diameter, take copper pipe, one fellow would hold it at the bottom of the tree, the other fellow starts bending the pipe around it. They’d cut the top off the tree and there they’d have it. They’d save the top and use it for firewood too.

The still was made of sheet metal and two-by-fours, with an extra sheet for the bottom so they didn’t burn their two-by-fours. A steam pipe came off the top and went into the first barrel called the thumper barrel. This barrel has a piece of wood inside that stops half way up the barrel and can move up and down inside. The steam comes inside this barrel, lifts this piece of wood, and the weight of the wood pushes it back down and into the next barrel. When the steam gets-a-going, that piece of wood thumps against the top, drops back down and thumps against the bottom. Thump-thump-thump. Guess that’s why they called it the thumper barrel.

The next barrel is where the coil tube is, the vapor is transferred into a third (empty) barrel, and this resulting condensation is Moonshine. They let it age for about five minutes or until it cooled down enough to drink or sell.

Okay, okay, I’ll give you the ingredients (just in case ccstring wants to try it out ): corn meal, sugar, water, yeast, and malt. After ya mix, ya gotta put it in the still and let it ferment. How quickly depends on how warm your mash is. (I feel like Julia Childs here). Now check yer temp – 170 to 180 degrees.

You’re all probably wondering how I know so much about this. Thanks to my Uncle Haze (Cat Horse) and my cousin Cec for inviting me. It’s kinda funny, I know it, seen it, but don’t drink alcohol at all.

They made 500 gallons at a time and sold it for 5 dollars a gallon. Remember I said it was a disposable still? After they were done, they’d blow the still up. Sheriff Howell couldn’t stand that sound because it meant no evidence. They had that dynamite so well-timed that they were miles away before she blew.