Zee Blog

FREEDOM! FREEDOM!

So on Tuesday I was laid off. That's right: laid off.

April and I were just beginning to sit down to begin the daily grind in Homecomings when our Supervisor comes up to us and says that she needs to talk with us. April and I obey and as we approach her desk she points us towards the Homecomings Manager's desk. His name is Joe Stymile(sp unsure) and he is the one that does the firing.

In a lavender shirt he asks, "So I heard you guys have found a new job."

I reply "Yes, we have."

"When was your last day going to be?"

"Probably today."

"Maybe you should just wrap things up right now then." I shake his hand, and then my supervisor's, grab my stuff off my desk and declare my freedom to the other enslaved masses. I'm sure many were afraid that we were not actually going to be freed, but to be processed like most slaves unwilling to work. Sent to a place where horrors unnamed are unfolded upon our unsuspecting bodies.

Some people have even suspected the 400 pound man(and I ain't joking about this) to be where people go when they decide to get wise and leave MSA.

Instead, we received a packet. Yes, a packet. To be more specific, it is a survey packet on how the company can work to better itself.

At first my general child like desire to say things like "Free Tibet" or "Castration for all!" attempted to persuade me to do nothing more than waste my time on it, but in the end I gave them my honest opinion. After we finished the 10 page survey we were told that we would be allowed to come back if we wished, and with our final good byes the doors opened for us and like two scared little animals we were returned to our natural habitat.

This Monday we start our new job. It's collections, but a buttload more money and I actually get to do things.

It's third party collections on Student Loans. This meaning: I get to hunt people down. I get to do skip tracing, I get to call your families house, I get to garnish your wages for my own personal gain. Mother fuckers, I got this shit on lock down.

So, if any of you out there are default on your student loans: fear the shadows for I may be silently stalking you like a creature of the night. Waiting for the moment you let down your guard long enough for me to jack your mother fucking wallet and your first born.