The Life Of Me.

Is It Possible To Stay Insanely Happy?

I had another amazing time with Martin yesterday. Again, just lying in my bed, holding each other...talking about the world, our hopes, our fears. It felt so right, it felt absolutely perfect. My heart was pounding the whole time. I love kissing him. I love how he kisses me softly on the lips, taking one lip inbetween his before deepening our kiss. I love how our lips fit together. How amazing it feels when they're pressed together. I love him more than ever. It seems that lately, after all the petty arguments, things are starting to fall into place. Sublime happiness has came our way...something neither of us have truly felt, or felt that we deserved...if anybody's reading this, and they know how I feel...then they must truly be in love also...I can't describe how I feel about him...and for someone who loves words, I find it really difficult to comprehend. I even cried yesterday. I cried because I felt so happy, so lucky, and I felt so loved...lying in his arms, or him lying in mine...it's perfect.

I love it when he lies in my arms, snuggles his head on my chest...he looks so vulnerable, so different to the strong man I usually have to hold. I love it that he lets me in so openly, that he lets me see this vulnerability, lets me see who he really is. It makes me want to protect him, keep him from harm. Hopefully I will do. If I can.

I hope we have more and more days like the two we've just had, complete and utter bliss and happiness and perfection. I'm so in love with him I could cry. He makes me so happy that I swear I must be dreaming. I still don't believe that he's real. How could someone seem so made for me? How can I have been lucky enough to find "the one" so soon...

I don't care what anybody says. It's not impossible to find the person you share your life with at my age, yeah it doesn't happen very often in our society...but I have. I've thought I've loved people before...but it does not compare AT ALL. What I've felt for people means nothing compared to how I feel about Martin. I'm *in* love with him. You know, I dreamed, I wished, I wrote about what being in love would feel like...and it's better. Better than what I could have hoped or fantasised about. I'm so lucky...I'm so lucky that's he in love with me. I'm so lucky that we work so well, that we're able to love each other, that nothing will get in our way. *sigh* I miss him. I didn't think it was possible to be this excited and happy with my relationship after 8 months....it's exciting!!!!!!