Things I find myself only able to express in words and in this journal - welcome! |
I think I may be crazy... I'll update later to explain why... Okies... here's me updating. Yesterday, Manda and I were talking... had been talking about a lot of different things, about how she is, about how we understand each other because we've felt the same way. Talked about how she's felt. About how I understand that she doesn't like sudden change... it's just not something she handles well. I handle it better. When it came to saying I love you, I hinted, I gave her a lil bit of time to adjust, then I let her say it first tho I could have said it a few days before her. But yesterday, before we stopped talking... the comment was made of "you know... if we were more established in our lives, you would have gotten proposed to already." It doesn't scare me. That's why I may be crazy. There's a confidence in things with her. Things are calm, stable. Yes, we have problems... but nothing either one of us seems to have a problem handling. She's seen me like this... if any of you read my journal often... this has been the worst I've been... in my life thus far. But, she knows that. She knows it's not like me to be like I am right now. The thought that I was okay with it, that things were going that way... no... not scared. Jake asked me if I'd say yes... I would. For whatever reason, I know with her, I could count on her to keep her word and to respect me. And that's all there is to it... in a sense. And I'm wondering... am I crazy for even letting this notion in my mind? |