A little something about nothing

Advice from a man

I'm sure in the past I have mentioned Tre, but in case you've forgotten, he is one of Mark's friends that has tried to be friends with me too. I say try, because he will try to call me or ask me to go out with him without Mark, but it feels weird for me. Like I am betraying Mark or something.

Anyway, when he is drunk he drives me nuts...becomes very touchy feely or overly focused on meeting new girls. However, when he is sober or even has a slight buzz, I enjoy talking to him. He is very real and has always given me his honest opinions/views.

I sent him an email yesterday, which I got the reply to today, asking him for his opinion on what would make me more approachable by men. Who better to ask than a man on the prowl, right?!

It was a long email, but I will try to sum it up. First, I need to be happy with myself, need to quit worrying about things I cannot change, but work on the little things I can change that will make me happier with myself.

Second, I need to start hanging out with my female friends or at least split from Mark when we are at the club at least for part of the time. This makes sense, but is not as easy as it sounds. I have plenty of female friends, but they are either married and/or do not like going to the clubs. I have no problem hanging out with them outside the club; however, it ends up being dinner or at their house...no guy traffic!! As for splitting with Mark...I don't really enjoy standing alone at a club, I would just rather not go and let him do his thing. Many people have said I need to grow more space between the two of us and in my mind I've been working on it, but it is a hard habit to break. I've started by getting a 2nd job...just a very slow process.

Third, to be honest with the type of guy I am looking for. He stated that most successful relationships for women my age, that he knows that is, are either with older men who've done all their playing already or younger guys trying to become established. He told me to watch out for the married men looking for a side of fun or the bitter divorced men.

This all seems like good advice...I think. I foresee the biggest obstacle, which I would like to battle first, is distancing myself from Mark. We are good friends, but things have gotten way too comfortable. Not to mention the emotional roller coaster I continue to ride with his different moods needs to come to an end. It goes from him trying to talk to me all day/night and wanting to hang out all the time and being happy and talkative to chatting occassionally throughout the day, some talking at night if something comes up and hanging out; but not his normal happy self, to no talking throughout the day unless I initate it, sitting in the back room on the computer and only saying HI or GOOD NIGHT, and hanging out only if someone else comes with us or if we do hang out we hardly talk. And I thought I was moody!!!

Wish me luck on my new venture!!