Michelle's Blog, Blog, Blog

I woke up to find myself 40

I'm 40.
When did this happen??
I hated turning 30. I mean, I dreaded the day but it came and went with hardly any indication that I had passed that mark. I thought at that number everything would change, my body, my hormones, my life, that somehow I would be different, old. Actually, my early 30's were a time of change but for the good. I worked out, completed a triathlon, (not in record time, believe me,) I rode RAGBRAI with my brother and mom, 58 at the time. After marriage and 2 children in the previous decade, I had started to take care of myself and realized I wasn't being true to myself. Still, I noticed little difference in my body that I thought was suppose to happen. Then in my late 30's, the weight started to creep on, adding a few pounds a year. It was noticeable but not enough so to make any serious change in lifestyle. Now, at 40 and looking back over the past years, I can see the changes more clearly, though it seemed to happen so subtly. My metabolism has slowed to a crawl which has allowed me to gain about 20 pounds more than I'd like. My joints click and pop if I sit too long or just because. The time between shaving my legs has become increasingly shorter along with bumps, patches or irregularities in my skin are more noticeable, and not because I'm checking daily. I understand why "dabbing" makeup under the eye is better than rubbing. Gray hairs are popping out faster than I can pull them out, like daisies in a meadow, though I am glad to have more meadow than daisies at this point, (I still haven't colored my hair.) Lotion is important as my body seems to be drying up before my eyes and I thought my lips were fuller than they are now. I can walk into a room and stop to think why I walked in there in the first place. The songs my kids listen to are too loud and I don't understand the lyrics. When I asked my doctor how bad my eye sight was, he said, "Well, you're not blind, yet." I didn't take that as a good sign. I can't get enough sleep and there isn't enough time in the day. But on a positive note, I have more patience, love and gratitude having been able to make it this far and been able to touch, change or influence those around me. Hopefully the next 40 years will bring more of the same.