Life as we know it sucks

And That's When You Lose It . . .

Current Mood: elated!

Current Music: Miami Sound Machine - Falling in Love (uh oh) I have been looking for this song for four months at least!! And now I've found it!

July 22

I'm getting ready to go to work. Today is payday and you know what that means? Depositing my check . . . :) There's this incredibly hot guy that works at my bank (Suntrust) and evert since I deposited some graduation money yesterday, I can't stop thinking about him. I don't even know him. I've just seen him working there for the last year now and he always smiles at me and I always act nonchalant when I see him. And - oh damn - he's SEXY! I would love to talk to him and get to know him and for once in the last two years forget about Shane. Maybe Shane isn't the one for me after all. *sigh*

LATER

Again . . . I went to the bank to deposit my check. To look at that hottie that works there. Did I mention I sort of had a dream about him last night. In my dream, his name was Todd. He actually looks like a Jason . . . but wouldn't it be weird if his namew as Todd? Strange. It's so strange that I can't stop thinking about him. After I deposited my check at 5:30, I came back at six and kept thinking that maybe if he got off work, he'd come over and see if I was still working. I know he knows where I work - he deposits my checks from Peebles all the time! Wouldn't that have been awesome, though? Wheew.

I totally think it would have been awesome. he would come over and act like he was looking for shoes and then he'd notice I was waiting on him. *sigh* It would be so AWESOME! I sort of want to experience something new and different. I feel like I'm doing something wrong thinking so much about him . . . but it's normal. VERY normal. I'm obsessed. I can't help it.

July 24

I'm still thinking about him. I've never thought this much about him before. I don't even know him. I mean, for all I know, he could have a girlfriend or he could just be smiling out of politeness thinking I'm the ugliest girl he's seen in a long time . . . or maybe it's for real. But, I wish he'd come into Peebles. If he does - IF - then I'll know something's up. It'll be a sign. Just like last night, I was watching "Whose Line" and they sang a Hoedown about a bank teller and I was like: that's a sign!

July 25

He hasn't come yet . . . but I'm not giving up hope. WHy am I even thinking about him, you ask? Well . . .I lost my chance with Christopher and I just don't know if Shane's the one for me. I mean, how would I know? *sigh* I think it's one of those things you don't question.

July 26

Went to the bank again. (!) (eek!) Yea . . . And that guy Jason/"Todd" was there. Man was he ever! Then, I went to Blockbuster with mother and "embarrassed" her because she was being a bitch and wouldn't leave me alone. And this guy I used to sit next to in my 10th grade computer class works there. I was like, "Holy shit!" (not in those words - unfortunately) and well, let's just say he was uglier than he used to be. Blonde too. *sigh* And that's when you know: good guys go bad.

But back to Jason/"Todd". I would love to just talk to him and see what it'd be like with someone different. *sigh* You know, I really don't know what my problem is. I don't know where all of this is coming from. It's boredom, I suppose. And that little vacation I took didn't seem to curb the boredom at all. I guess I'll just always be boring. BORING! And I'll never experience any new guy ever again and I don't think Shane would let me anyway. He'd "fight" for me - or rather, make me feel guilty. I just don't know. I'm confused about what I want right now.

Sure, it's over another guy, but I don't even know this one. I've barely even spoken to him. I wish I could though. Is that so bad? Is it?

--------------------------------------------

Good fences make good neighbors.