There must be a light under the bushel!

Lamentable

**WARNING-If you are a smoker, you might as well light up now. No self-respecting smoker can read this without feeling serious urges at some of the situations I'm going to mention! If you've recently (or ever) quit smoking, make sure your withdrawal doesn't get the better of you **

In my little break from writing.com, I quit smoking. Yeah, yeah, good for me and all that. Well, I didn't really have a choice. My dad's bladder cancer was caused by smoking, (as are 50% of bladder cancer cases, a little fact I had never heard). So, I didn't feel quite right puffing away in front of the man who had to quit his 48 year habit. We were both successful quitters (doesn't that phrase sound great?), but I've noticed some interesting changes in my life.

First, let me say, I haven't become one of those "reformed" smokers, you know the kind, the born again non-smokers. I don't do the face squint with the fake cough every time someone lights up. In fact, I don't mind inhaling a little second-hand smoke from my friends now and again. Sometimes I like to draw a deep breath and imagine that my lips puffing on a cig drew that sweet smoke in.

I do okay most of the time, but after a really big meal, I'm shameless about following smokers around, hoping for a whiff. I also like to sit really close to them when I'm drinking beer. What goes better with a beer? NOTHING. Beer and cigarettes were meant to be together. If ever there was true love... At least I don't drink coffee; I hear that's another splendid match. Ohhh, what about driving along with the music cranked up, singing, and puffing on the ciggie during the instrumental parts? There's also the cigarette after you've been in a non-smoking place for a couple of hours, and then you get that first drag as soon as you walk outdoors. The smoke break at work, especially if you're hot under the collar. Man, does a cigarette make life feel better, if just for a split second. I also like that I always had something to do. For instance, if I were meeting a friend at a pub and I got there first, I didn't sit and fumble around with my drink. I had a cigarette to occupy me for the next seven minutes. That was very convenient. Ahhh, if any of you play pool, you know that it's necessary to have a cigarette going in the ashtray at all times. It helps with the karma of your game or something.

One thing I hadn't counted on missing is taking a smoke (or two or three or twenty) when I write. Those cigs were crucial. The overflowing ashtray with the precariously balanced lit cigarette is essential to any real creativity, isn't it? I'm going to stop thinking about that because it's getting me a little panicky.

Some nice side benefits came my way, though (in addition to that health stuff). One great one is that I don't have to stop what I'm doing every thirty minutes and get up and go outside. That especially sucked when it was really hot or really cold or really raining or really humid...you get the point.

Another benefit came to me at the expense of my friends. I'm ashamed to admit that I found some humor in a dilemma my friends faced on the golf course last week. We were on the coast, so it was extremely windy. Of course, for a smoker, this is a situation filled with frustration. Throughout the course of the day, I saw all of them battle the elements in their fight to get their nicotine. I was in one of those snooty, superior moods. You know, "Ah, I remember when..."

Of course, there's also the money I'm saving--that's a definite upside. I also don't feel guilty being around non-smokers; I was never very comfortable making other people breathe air I was polluting! I don't have to worry about being a bad example if students see me out in public either--another huge bonus in my book.

I must admit that in spite of how tough it can be at times, I feel a sense of freedom, like I'm no longer enslaved by a habit, and of course, the vanity part is important to me, too--I no longer stink like an ashtray, and maybe my wrinkles will slow down a bit now!