My True Soul

Viernes Noche y Sabado Manana

First time typing on my new laptop. It has a great feel to it now that I've gotten used to the slight difference in where the keys are. It actually feels a bit better because of it being closer together.

Last night at 2 a.m., Manda sent me a text asking me if I was still up. I woke up this morning to find it... I laughed. I was extremely tired Saturday night. I even had to stop on my way home and nap for a few minutes before I could make it all the way home. Kinda sad, I know. But apparently she won't be able to come here. It's alright, I think the whole ideal of Tyler and Manda coming here has been dismissed. I'm kinda sad about it, but I figure I'll steal them one weekend and make them come here with me.

I talked to Tyler the other day about things that have been bugging him. That continued tonight somewhat. It wasn't as bad as I had feared. We talked about how much our parents had been bugging us. I just, I wish they would leave me the hell alone. I'm so not used to having to deal with them, which might be the wrong thing to say, but I am. It happens when you don't live with your parents for a while, you get used to them not being around. In addition, my grandmother has been over more and more. That also sucks.

I've been thinking a lot. I need to change my schedule around.... will do that later on this week. I'm ready to go back to school in a way. I'm anxious about it in a way. I need to talk to Professor Jones still. And I need to study my Spanish still. I'm running behind where I wanted to be.

Anyways, continuing....

I've always had conflicts between what my mind wants me to doa dn what my heart wants me to do. Any of you who've read this much know this. For once in my life, I'm actively ignoring my brain. Taking heed to what it's saying about not rushing, but otherwise, I'm not listening. My heart swells when I'm around her, and I'm letting it. It's a new feeling.

Eric's coming back on the 6th. I'm excited to see him. I've really missed him although the last time I saw him was in December. It was too long ago. He's seriously a reason I've stayed partially sane.

And you know what? I've lost tons of faith in the majority of society. It makes me sad, but it's the truth. I just don't put much faith into what people say nor does it surprise me so much at the things people do. It's really an awful feeling to loose faith in humanity. But what makes it worse is the point that I've been so disappointed in people as of late. I have slowly been losing my faith in people since January.

Ah, Friday night, Ty and Manda came over. She ended up staying the night with me. It was really nice to have someone to cuddle with. No, nothing more happened, minds out of the gutter. We did end up making out for about 7 hours. That was nice. Pathetic part? I miss her already. I guess we were trying to get in as much as possible since it'll probably be another month before I see her again.

Eric really wants to talk to her. I really want him to. He's excited about talking to her. That really means a lot to me. They both seem to really respect one another,

Jake and Tyler have been arguing a lot lately. Seems to be normal. But, the other day, they brought up the topic of attraction. In your opinion, do you think there has to be the slightest bit of physical attraction to date someone or not? Otherwise, can you date someone that you're not attracted to at all?

In addition, because Spain and Canada have both recently made gay marriage legal, do you think this will help the U.S. and the fight for gay rights or hurt it?