My True Soul

La segunda cita...

I'm so annoyed at Tyler right now. So completely and entirely annoyed. I can't even put it into words. He's been cranky and bitchy and whiny. We talked about why. I know he's going through stuff right now. I have been worn out with dealing with his life, his situations, listening to him be bitchy, cranky, and whiny, not listening to me at all, saying he's going to really work at changing and not do anything, and wanting everyone to put up with his shit... I've been worn out since April. Do I ever really come to him with ANY serious problem? No. And he and I are SUCH complete opposites in so many ways.

This week, I went down to Starkville to take care of things. Found out my rent had went up, that sucked. Had grass that was.... well... I had to pre-cut the grass before I could cut it. Went to see Manda. To go out on a 2nd date with her. Etc.

Best part of the week? Being with Manda. Simple.

The last person I kissed never would tell me if I was a decent kisser or not. Not at all. So, for the past, almost 2 years... I've wondered. I got an answer. I'm proud of myself, lol. And apparently I have nice lips....

We went out to eat at Old Venice, which, is obviously an Italian restraunt. She barely ate, didn't know why until later. (She was nervous/flustered.) But, it was nice. We then went to see a movie - Land of the Dead. Oh yeah, lol, nice romantic movie. But, I mean, come on, she and I both love Romero.... why not go see the movie we both REALLY wanted to see? Even if it was a bit weird holding hands while someone's brains were splattering against the ground or there was a popping noise because someone's muscles were being bitten into two shreds. Or cuddling whenever the zombies were attacking the city and trying to eat all the humans.
Honestly? I'm just thrilled that she loves Romero as much as I do and thinks he's as wonderful as I. And that she also would LOVE to be an extra in one of his films. Etc. I'm a dork.
We go to this coffeeshop then. It's the one we normally go to. Sit down, play dominoes. It's been such a long time since I've played. But, I told her I'd forgotten and she basically had to teach me how to play, again. Well, we played 3 times, I beat her each time. She's supposed to be good at dominoes... haha. Then she starts building stuff with the dominoes and her hands are shaking so bad she keeps knocking them over. It was such a relief. And no, it wasn't a relief because I found it to be funny. It was a relief because after we came out of the theater, my hands were shaking so bad, continuing to the coffeeshop. They'd just calmed down a bit by this time, but they were still shaking, just not as bad as hers. Then, lol, the moment I'll tease her about from now on. She had one of those moments, those embarrassing moments where you mean to say one thing and say another to such an extent it woulda deserved to be in the next issue of any of the magazines that publish those kinda stories. She wanted to go then. Spent the car ride to my place trying to hide until I took her hand and told her it was okay, if I had of been really offended, I wouldn't have laughed.
We went to my place. Cuddled. Kissed for the first time ever. She took me by surprise. Both admitted that the previous night we'd wanted to kiss each other but couldn't in Ty's presence.
We started to watch Now and Then. She hadn't seen it in a while, I've seen it so many times I can quote most of it. I layed in her lap, relaxing, trying to get rid of a headache. Then we started talking about religion. She actually discussed her beliefs in depth with me. Not something she does much. She pretty much believes the exact same as I do. Then she told me about one the turning points in her life, of which 2 other people know about. We discussed life experiences and one of her regrets and how she feels about it. Good, honest, intellectually stimulating conversation. Talked about Tyler and how he and I had a bit of a spat the other day. She asked me what happened. Her response? "You normally don't do things without a reason. You seem to always have one." We laughed about him being 18 and about what he needed to learn. Weird conversation to be having with someone who's just 6 months older than him.
Took her back to Ty's apartment. He was spying on us. Saying he wasn't trying to - bullshit. We got out of the car, walked to an area where there were no windows for him to peak out of and made out for about 10 minutes.
When I was driving back to my place, my mind was still on her kiss..... yeah... I was turning left, stopped at the light, looked both ways, and went. It was still red. Woops.
She bought flowers for me that night, later on. They're green. And sadly, after the car ride back here today, they're wilted.

The date went well.

I think she and I will end up in a serious relationship... given time and if things continue the way they have been going so far. And if I talk to Jake and he trys to convince me that I love her, I will slap him. At the moment... I know I'm fully well capable of falling in love with her and may be doing so.... but I am not ready for those 3 words.... so hopefully he won't do that.

Talked to Eric today, told him a bit about the religious conversations she and I had. He's completely enthused by her major, lol. And consequently wants to meet her and talk to her. I want for him to.

He called while we were out eating on our date. It's rude to answer your cell phone. So, I asked her if she'd be offended. I just wanted to answer so he'd know I wasn't offending him or avoiding him. She was just like "Who is it?" "Eric." "Oh! Go ahead!!"

There's more. But since I only got 4 hours of sleep, I'm off to see the inside of my eyelids....