Paths

The Forest of Lo

In the enchanted forests of Lo, a large, bear like creature lay unconscious over a fairy ring. This had made the local fairies very angry, and they were prodding the invader with specially sharpened sticks.
A scruffy haired human phased into existence a few metres above the invading creature, which made matters even worse.
He landed painfully, his groin connecting with one of the creature’s horns, knocking him unconscious. The fairies decided that it was very funny to poke the nostrils of this new and uglier creature.
After a few minutes of incessant prodding, Max slowly entered a conscious state, and took note of his surroundings. This was followed by a long string of profanities, after which he stood up.
A rather rebellious group of fairies rammed a large and thick log into his groin. Max abandoned the idea of ever having children.
The fairies, obviously none too pleased about their sacred source of existence being abused, used their magic to transport Max and the creature a few miles away.
With a blur, Max’s world disappeared again.

He came to again, and realised he was still in the forest, as was a mysterious bear creature, which had appeared next to him. It was made clear that it could talk, although it was a very boring, lethargic drone that lulled even the fiery agony in Max’s (now ragged) trousers.
“Oh…pity…once again, it’s been proven that everyone hates me, and isn’t it wonderfully cold… this is really heavy, man…” it said, its teeth bearing.
“What a load of pigs’ left testicles! Where the hell am I? And who the great frog of doom are you?” he said, completely confused.
“…oh Goodness, look at the manners of people these days, ruthlessly interrogating individuals with their suave looks and charm…I hate this country…” it said, not answering Max’s questions.
Max hid his anger with the charm he still valued, and reiterated his question.
“Look mate, I don’t want to cause any fuss, but can you be so kind as to tell me where I am?”
The creature paused for a few seconds, in deep thought.
“Yes. I can.” He said slowly.
Max waited patiently for a moment, but realised that the creature had no intention of telling him.
“Well?”
“Well what?” said the creature.
“Can you tell me where I am?” Max said, his anger rising.
The creature became very vexed.
“Look…buddy, you’ve already asked me that one, I already told you I can.”
“Where are we then?” he said, using his last bit of manners.
“We’re on the outskirts of the enchanted forest of Lo. Now bugger off.”
The Enchanted forests of Lo, Max thought. He had heard tales of this woods, tales of the ancient ones here, the Elves. This made him feel very worried, as the elves were known to be the most strict and unforgiving of races ever to grace this world, and being smack-bang in the middle of their territory made him feel afraid.
“Can I follow you out of the woods?” Max asked politely. He needed a bodyguard, and this bear creature might have a boring voice, but he looked like he packed a pretty big punch.
The creature gave him a puzzled look.
“Why would I want to leave? This is a really far out country, you know. Really cool landscape, chilled atmosphere. I really dig the people, too.”
Oh great. A hippy bear…what luck, thought Max. It then occurred to him that the same hippy bear had mentioned that he likes the people.
“You like the icy hearted elves? I’ve heard tales about the elves that chill the blood of men!”
The creature looked puzzled.
“That’s typical.” He said at last. “Humans just want to bring every other race down with negative vibes and make war with each other. The elves aren’t like that at all, they’re like really cool. I’ll take you too them, they’re only a few hundred trees away. My name’s Nigel, I’m a runkaflunk.”
Max’s brilliant manners returned, and he cordially introduced himself.
“The name’s Max Millwonder and It’s an honour to make your acquaintance.”