Windchimes

Eyes and illusions

Went to the eye doctor yesterday. I left the subject off that first sentence because I didn't want so much long vowel "i" sound in it. It's too much. "I went to the eye doctor yesterday." What if I had a strong southern accent? Then it would be even more short vowel "o" sound. "Ah went to the ah dahk-ter yesterday." Sound obsessing, contradiction in terms.

I mention the ophthamologist (ha! got around it!) visit because it provided me further proof of my paranoia. You know how they ask you which line on a card or a slide image you can still read? I try very hard to tell them, not only by reading the letters, but by telling them what the first line I can't read looks like to me. One line looked like four pairs of tiny cherries. I try to tell them exactly what I'm seeing because I want them to know exactly what's going on with my vision. I think they find it sort of amusing and consider me a bit of a hypochondriac. Or maybe not. Or maybe whatever the vision version of a hypochondriac is.

What makes me wonder? Well, the doctor told me he thought my glasses (some sort of 21st century version of trifocals with no lines) just needed some adjusting. Maybe they sat too high on my nose, and made distance viewing a tad more difficult. So, if I'd just go see his technician, he'd fix me right up, and the eye-doctor (I'm not trying to spell the technical name again) would see me next year.

Supposedly, the spectacle technician adjusted my glasses. I couldn't swear to it in a court of law, though, cause he did it in another room. I didn't witness it. Which makes me wonder if the whole process was meant to produce a placebo effect.

J.H. Larrew
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