The Life Of Me.

1st July - Poopy

I feel poopy again. Really don't know why. There's something wrong though. 'Cause something's definitely not right.

I dunno...feel kinda abandoned. Feel as if I'm not needed...At the moment, I really kinda don't have a life outside Martin...and yet, every night this week he's been playing football with his friends, which means I've hardly spoke to him. I dunno...we used to talk all the time, and I just feel...not as close...

Stuey's sat next to me and has just found porn by accident lol.

I feel so crap. Is it just because I miss him, or is it because I've realised he doesn't actually need me as I much as I need him? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Grrrrrr. And he's not done anything wrong. And I feel shit. And he's mad at me...Arggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Somebody fix me.

I even got a bit meh, when he didn't text me back last night when I had something to say to him, for like 4 hours. I dunno...abandoned...alone...unneccessary. I can't be mad at him for having other stuff to do...it's when he says he'll text me back, and doesn't...and why.....why do I even care....

I don't want to lose him...but feel like I am...I'm so scared...He's the one...If I lose him I really won't survive. He's too important. I need him