Orion's Testicle

Chapter 1- band practice

Chapter 1- Band Practice

Music is in many ways much like life. It has its highs and lows, starts of slowly and always ends with a huge dramatic finish. Every song is different, like every persons lives are different. There are depressive songs for the depressed, happy for the happy, and love songs for the more romantic amongst us. On Orion II, however, music is practically life.
This generation of the 'Battle of the bands' will be told from the perspective of a teenage girl, Anna Galaxia, and her struggle to make a difference in her hectic existence on a hectic world.
It was Wednesday, and like all Wednesdays, everyone seemed very tired and sadder then usual as they realised that they're only half way through the week, and that they've still got Thursday to go before they get the Friday feeling. On Orion, of course, this also meant that like the word Wednesday, everyone spelt words completely different to how they were meant to be pronounced or using the complete wrong words altogether, which a few years ago meant that when the famous Count of Silverpleck wrote to a restaurant about the quality of food, it was understandable that the poor people at 'Enflaming Joes' found it very hard to gather wither he liked his sausage and mash or not.
Here is a copy of the original letter.

Deer Jen's flamingo,
I am righting to come plain a boat the sensual massage I hate at your rest oar-rent shop yeast hair dye. Even though the meal was made with come plate pre scissors, it was very cold and I couldn't heat it as it made my tonne- 'g' ache. I liked the taste off the whine though, although it could have been a more gene-'r' us surveying.
I am so wry to right on a Wednesday, but thought that my opiniun was well combed.

Yours since-ear-lay

Count Eggbert.

Since then, there has been bad reputation of Silverpleck that no one could concentrate very well, especially on Wednesdays.

Today however, Alexia Galaxia was practicing her latest two minute long solo, and was concentrating very well on her playing.
However, everyone else in the entire room was not. They had either nodded off to a restful sleep, or had got in trouble over an insulting note to a poor girls' flamingo, and were carried off by the law enforcement unit, upon which the law enforcement team would tragically lose heart whilst heaving them out of the door, and feel suddenly exhausted and fall into a deep unconscious. This meant that practically everyone in the room was slumped over and asleep. The only person not to fall into this Wednesday inflicted lullaby was Anna's best and truest friend, Meg Mace (On the bass), who was faithfully trying to keep at least half awake for her friend. Upon realising that everyone else was either sleeping unconscious or comatose, she tapped Anna on the shoulder.
"Anna..." she said in a soft but clear voice.
"What??" said Anna, suddenly snapping from her music much like one might snap from looking at an attractive movie star whilst out with your fiancée. Apparently surprised at the state of the room, she gave Megan a curious look.
"Everyone's asleep." Responded Meg quietly.
"Oh..." Anna looked around. "Sod it. I can't be doing with band practice on Wednesday. You want to go float boarding?"
"Sure as Orion's core is water!" Meg smiled.
It is important to note, that ironically, real testicles are full of fluid, with tiny little creatures swimming about in it, which is in many ways similar to Orion II, with it being full of water with millions of creatures swimming in its waters. in fact, if testicles had a crusty outer surface of solid rock (heaven forbid, of course) then every man on earth could say he has two planets down his trousers, in the hope to impress the girls at the local bar enough to boldly go where no (other) man has gone before.
Still, this didn't seem to bother most of the people on Orion, although a small minority were, as they were unfortunate enough to catch the latest outbreak of what is affectionately called 'S.L' (Scrotum lithification) were the poor fellow would wake up to find two small boulders in bed with him. After chucking away his parents in law, he'd then discover that his balls have turned to stone.
Fortunately, this wasn’t a bother at all to Alexia and Meg, as they were both very attractive young women, and didn't have testicles to worry about. In fact, being a Orionan, the females don't even get what is loosely called 'that time of the month' when girls/women spends an unusually large amount of money on chocolate.
So they cheerfully packed up their instruments, and after leaving Patrick (their drummer) a small box of cookies and an insulting note, they left for the open outside.
They both looked up on the bright weather and smiled. Natural light from Orion's Buckle was wonderful to behold, but it was nothing to compare to the brilliant lights installed on the inside of Orion II.
As they were walking they noticed a group of teenagers pass the newsagents. One boy stood out from the rest, probably because he was a good deal taller. He was very handsome, and Alexia and Meg stopped for a moment to oggle.
He had black hair down to his neck, with a long fringe over his eyes. Before either of them started to fantasise about things involving that boy, a romantic setting and a cheap hotel room, a claxon went off, informing that the gates to the underground were proceeding through their hourly opening.
Though disappointed that her oggling was cut short, Alexia prodded Meg into action, and then spoke.
“Come on, if we don’t make haste, we’ll have to wait an hour before we can get underground.” She said.
“But the guy…” Meg managed weakly, before being dragged off forcefully.
After a short walk involving the two girls talking about the factors that determine the distribution and arrangement of atomic particles in a nuclear fission reaction, political advantages of being in a tyranny, and the advanced rules of chess, they came upon the gates of the underground.
The gates were basically huge….well, gates. There was nothing particularly special about them, just big, very very big. In fact, so big, that a big thing next to them would seem really titchy in comparison.
There was an exceedingly obese security guard at the toll booth. With visible effort, he got up, and noticing the two girls, demanded they pay up to open the gate.
With considerable reluctance, Alexia and Meg paid up.
The security guard flicked a switch under the panel gates, then a whining shriek, and the sound of a great weight dropping, and a sound like a god fisting the earth in all its fury.
A small, metre wide section of the gate opened silently and swiftly. Through it could be seen a glimmer of a ship’s searchlight and a vast, moonlit ocean.
They stepped briskly through it, and immediately walked down a deep angle, down to a jetty, stabilised from the rapidly changing water currents.
They stopped for a moment to look around.
Looking at the interior of Orion was like looking at an earth city on the horizon, a black landscape with thousands of glittering lights, twinkling delightfully. From the dimly lit jetty, it was a breathtaking experience about to get far more breathtaking.
Picking out their favourite Floatboards, they stepped to the end of the jetty, and with a smug smile to each other, they slipped off, and were gone.
Gone, over the random currents of water, surfing with well practiced skill, racing each other on a tidal wave, Alex and Meg span over fifty metre drops, were shot up on geysers, and blasted out of waterfalls, cheering and screaming as they went, enjoying the thrill of the moment, the wind through their hair.
Looking behind them at the jetty, they saw the same boy as before, waiting patiently, as if for someone.
Clearly, he was on a date, and Alexia felt disappointment when she realised that any second now that drop dead gorgeous, glittering girl would appear, and they’d walk off romantically together, and surf together, and go home together. Even though she didn’t even know the boys’ name, she knew she wanted to be in that glamorous girls’ position, and hope that girl knew how lucky she was to have sweet looking guys like that in love with her.
She turned away, and with unusual concentration (Considering it was a Wednesday) she performed a three part aerial trick on her board. She spent a moment realising she’d just done the best trick of her life. Looking back on the jetty, she saw the boy looking at her, apparently very impressed. She encored by performing a brilliant impression of a tomato, and her face went red with embarrassment. She tried to hide from him, and desperately flung herself from her board, into the water below. With a cracking splash, she sank beneath the waters, into the heavy gas underneath.
She slowed to a stop, and floated in the gas for a second. She caught a glimpse of the planet’s exact core, and saw a strange Iron sphere, with a hatchway of some sort, with the word ‘Conclius’ printed in large, bright letters above the door.
With a puzzled look, she was drawn back into the water, and then shot out of the water like a stone on a trebuchet.
She landed on the water, and this time managed to keep herself in, and she swam to her board, mounted up, then started off in the direction of an incredibly confused looking Meg.
Seeing her friend was unharmed, Meg’s expression changed to one of utter wonder.
“Alex, that was amazing! I’ve never seen you do something like that!” She exclaimed.
“Yeah…I don’t know how I did that…”She started. “Meg, I’ve just seen something really weird.”
Megan seemed to have not heard this last statement.
“Even the guy thought it was brilliant! Honestly, you could compete with the pros if you can pull off stunts like that!”
Too perplexed to bother telling Meg about the door, she carried on surfing, back to the jetty.
“I think it’s time I went home. I’ve had enough.”
After a few more minutes surfing, they reached the jetty, to find the same boy sitting there, but this time looking sullen, with his head in his hands.
They walked passed, both of them feeling doubly puzzled.
As they passed, he spoke to Alexia.
“A very skilful display,” he said in a Fretnan (on earth, this would be closest to Scottish/ Geordie) accent. “I hardly ever see someone pull off something like that. What’s your name?”
To Alexia, this was so shocking it felt like a hand had materialised in front of her and slapped her with ice. She became dumbstruck.
“It’s…Alexia….” She managed, with as much effort as it would take for the security guard at the toll booth to touch his toes.
“Wow, nice name…mine’s Scottle. It’s like Scott, only with more bottle.”
“Why are you talking to me??” Alexia burst out, to her own surprise.
Scottle paused for a second, a little surprised. Then he smiled weakly and said:
“Well, I was on a date here, but the girl I was meant to be going with seems to have stood me up. I’ve been waiting an hour since my friends left, and no sign of her.” He looked expectantly out of the doorway, and then turned back. “She’s definitely not coming.” He said sadly.
Alexia was furious that some girl had stood up a guy like this one. He was as sweet as he was good looking. Coming to herself again, she spoke to him.
“What are you gonna do then?”
He paused again.
“Don’t have a clue. I think I’ll go home now, it’s been a bit of a wasted day…” He looked around again. “I realise I’ve no one to walk with. Can I walk with you two?”
Meg stumbled spontaneously, as if it was a great honour she was not worthy of. Luckily, Alexia kept her cool.
“Yeah…sure.” She smiled. “Where are you walking to?”
“To Motor head road, just pass the newsagents.” He answered.
Alexia let herself smile again. She lived on Ramones street, which was the next street along from his.
And so they set off, after setting down their Floatboards, and writing the security guard an insulting note (something both Alexia and Meg were quite fond of).
Though neither Alexia nor Meg could see it, Scottle was very attracted to Alexia, he thought both the girls were attractive, but Alexia had that certain self confidence that he admired. So as they talked about the 14 key notes and factors determining people’s day to day state of emotion, he made a mental note to ask this star girl out one day.
Still his time of thought was cut short, as it did not take long until they were at the newsagents, and Scottle was turning down his street, but before he bid them adieu. He hugged them both warmly, then waved bye, and turned down his road.
He was such a good hugger that Alexia and Meg couldn’t help feeling positively elated, and both of them had a spring in their step for an entire week after.