Jonah's Journey

the floppy defense

Before I do anything, I want to thank friend and fellow mom TaintedFemale for the pretty pink "Mommy's Love" ribbon and journaling merit badge. I was overwhelmed today when I opened my e-mail and saw them both. THANK YOU!!!

It was especially good timing because I'm not feeling well, and Jonah was being crabby and was bitching from his crib -- I hoped he'd eventually nap, though he never did. After an hour or so I went in to get him and he had a poop in his diaper, so I changed him and let him out.

Andy just took him for a ride somewhere after heating me up some chicken noodle soup, though I know Andy doesn't feel great either. When they get home, I'll give Jonah his bath so Andy can rest a little too.

Some days it seems we just pass Jonah back and forth. He's an exhausting kid to care for, especially when you're run down -- he wants to be chased everywhere and he refuses to eat anything even remotely good for him lately.

He wants to type on the computer (usually he just presses the buttons on the monitor, turning brightness/contrast/etc. menus on and off) but pushes you away when you stand close by, monitoring him.

He resists having his diaper changed and having his clothes, socks, or shoes put on or taken off -- this means running away and employing one of his defenses (see below) --and he's getting heavier by the day, which makes me worried for the day when he can physically overpower me.

As it stands now he's reeeaaaally good at eluding capture. He has what Andy and I like to call the Floppy Defense, where he goes all limp so you can't get a hold of him at all.

He also often employs a Deadweight Defense, which involves dropping to the floor and doing his best impression of a boy-sized barbell with bonus flailing arms and legs.

Then there is the Klingon Defense, employed when one of us is holding him and trying to put him down....he clamps his arms and legs around the trunk of your body with a fierce crab-vice strength and cries like you're trying to kill him.

There are more of these Defenses, some as yet unnamed. We believe he is constantly plotting new ways to outwit us.

When all else fails, he will grab for the glasses -- both Andy and I wear 'em -- which he knows is an egregious offense. Usually he will become immediately panic-stricken and attempt to place the glasses back on your face. Sometimes it's all I can do not to laugh at this innocent "I'm sorry" behavior.

Then there are his messes.

If you leave him alone with a sippy cup for two minutes he'll take the drink and shake it upside down so drops of juice or milk spill onto the table or floor...then he'll happily spaz his hands around in the mess and get himself and everything all wet & yucky. Oftentimes he'll also gurgle the drink around in his mouth and then let it dribble all down his chin & clothes. UGH.

Oh, and I should mention that he LOVES this. He'll be soaked and sticky and laughing all the while.

He has taken to biting and hitting now, too, though it's not tolerated at all. Thank God he hasn't hit or bitten anyone but Andy or me. He seems to be better behaved for almost everyone else -- especially at school, where he is obviously thriving under teacher supervision and expert care.

When he is being a pain in the ass, it's all I can do sometimes not to yell at him, and sometimes I yell anyway. Then I feel guilty, or frustrated. I want to scream like Mrs. Holland in Mr. Holland's Opus: "I want to talk to my son!"

Other times he is a "baby angel" (as we say, "the baby-est angel" !) and we can't help but grab him up and hug him and kiss him all over like we can't bear how much we love him.

We run the gamut of emotions around here....but above all else, we are almost always TIRED!





"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried."
         ~ Mae West (1892 - 1980)

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