Monkeys

Baked Crisp Snacks

The title come from the first thing I saw when I turned around. Yeaeh- off of a box. ha ha. Well, things are interesting here.

First off, I find it to be very funny that my "views" always jump so high on the weirdest entries. My last entry got several hundred hits this morning. Mmm Bop. Interesting. You have to wonder what people are looking for.

I took my Bio-Chem mid term and got a perfect score. Which amazes me. I'm excited about that....and my paper has officially been submitted on the perfect murder. Good deal. Now I have the Lab thing this afternoon, and then I'm done. I'll be in Platte City this weekend...Easter Contata. Good deal.

I went to the Dr this morning. Friggin early appointment. But that was okay- because I didn't have to miss work, and that way I was fresh out of the shower. It's always good to not only be clean, but feel clean. Especially when you go to the Dr. ;) Pretty good appointment. They did the sonogram and all that, and everything is okay so far as they can tell. We're just waiting now for the blood test to come back to check levels and whatnot. I'll keep you updated if you want.

Last night, I was watching "How to loose a guy in 10 days" (again) and after watching it, I had this incredible sense of loss. My heart actually hurt after watching it. I'm just at the point, where I am lonely. And considering all, I know I'm not alone. I just feel like I am. Bringing me to the next topic of Joshua- he called me on Tuesday, and wanted to get together for coffee or whatever. I was kind of short and to the point with him, but not rude. I was in the middle of studying and trying not to stress about mid terms. Oh well. I kind of get the feeling that for whatever reason, he wants to call and kind of "taunt" me. Maybe not intentionally, but he does do it. So anyway, I called him on Wednesday to let him know that I was taking my mid term early, and couldn't go out for coffee....but had to leave a message. So when he did call me back, he was basically like "what do you want?" Whatever. I'm finally to a point where I can talk to him, be around him without freaking out and being all emotional. And I know it's because I have something to look forward to. But his place has not been filled. I don't think it ever will be. He is my soul mate, but I'm not his. And I understand that it's how it is. I don't like it, and I don't understand why. But I understand that it is.

I don't know. Maybe this week, with finals, and Dr's and all has just been too stressful and the lack of sleep....maybe I'm emotional. But really, I don't feel a wreck. Maybe I can just share how I feel now. Who knows. Bottom line, I'm okay, and I'm getting somewhere in my life. I just wish I wasn't embarking into this phase alone. Do I ever make sense in here?

Sometimes I wonder. Anyway, I'm running along now, have a great weekend, and happy Easter.

Lovingly,
Bek