The Journal of Someone who Squandered away Years but wishes to redeem them in the present |
It is never too late to be what you might have been. -- George Eliot Courage to start and willingness to keep everlasting at it are the requisites for success. -- Alonzo Newton Benn When I was done with my bike ride today, my neck hurt so bad I felt like I'd taken first place at a cocksucking marathon. I rode 33 miles today on my mountain bike (the only one I have). It's been more than 2 years since I've ridden that far. I met my goal on average speed, but the really good news was that I spent an hour in the target heart rate zone (it took me just a tad over 3 hours to complete), and my heart rate average was only a few beats per minute above my recommended max. That's really what I'm working on, heart rate. Going up, I had planned to go farther, another 10 miles each way, but at hour two, my back started telling me it was at its limit, so I cut it short. Which is a good thing. I have a tendency to overdo it when I need to wait longer to see hwo my body is acting. I'm pretty proud of myself, though, 33 miles. My goal for June is to be able to do 60 on road, or 40 off. We have the annual Elephant Rock ride coming in June, and I haven't been in ... 3 years, or 2. I'm not sure. My back is coming around, I think. Lord knows more weight loss will help, and the walking is really paying dividends. All i want is to ride. If I have to walk to give myself the ability to ride, I can do that. Tomorrow, back to Pilates and maybe a walk, but we'll see how my neck feels in the morning. I'll tell you this. I feel like a man tonight, and it feels good. Not in any emotional or intellectual sense - not macho or any crap like that. My body feels like a man's body, and I'm proud I put it through such a pace today. I can feel heat coming off my muscles even now, 3 and a half hours after the ride. I gave virtually everything I could push myself to give today. On the way down, which is mostly modest downhill, I was passed by a 20-year old with huge calves. I decided to use him as my pacer. I kept up with him for half the ride back. At one point he stopped and I told him I needed him ahead of me, and he kindly obliged. Was nice of him. It was good for me to have a pacer, I pushed harder. I mean, I'm fatter than that kid, and on the mostly downhill, that's to my advantage over him. I lost him at some hills, and that was that, but by then, I could barely hold my head up to look more than 100 feet ahead of me on the trail. I took two vicodin to be safe, and a muscle relaxer, smoked some weed and had a killer bath. Then my friend Cindy invited me over to her place to eat dinner with a bunch of people. She made two wicked lasagna dishes, one veggie, one sausage. They were both killer, so it was nice not to have to cook for myself. But I was so tired driving over there. I think I only stayed about 90 minutes. So I wanted to write this down - I used to make a bunch of biking journal entries - something wonderful would happen to me out there and I'd have to write it down. It's nice... Well, it's beyond nice. My soul needs pedals. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I think for the first time I can see that I can get there. Oh, and weight watchers has been going well. I'm eager to see how I will have done on Tuesday. |