Monkeys

I feel alive

I really do feel quite alive. Unlike how I've felt in a long long time. I felt this good when I was with Joshua- at the beginning when I was loved for who I am , and when I did the same. It has just been such a long few months here, and I have just been so drained. For the longest time, I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Now I want to go out, and do things all the time. Last night I drove down town by myself (Yeah- had to call Joshua so I didn't get lost, but hey- it's a start). Anyway, I want to do this while I can. Go have a good time. I had a great time last night- was tired as all heck- but a wonderful time. I woke up this morning, and smiled. I actually smiled when I woke up. First time in a long long time. Specifically since I woke up next to Joshua. Today I can do it. Whatever it is, I can do it.

I'm learning that I can have fun again. I need to. Speaking of which, Jackie and I are going to get together this weekend. She thinks we're celebrating being women. Which, in a way, we are. But that is obviously not the focal point. I can't wait to see her face when I tell her. Sarah is the only one who knows right now, and she can't say anything to anyone. I kept her secret. She can keep mine. :)

Well, I'm going to run along now. I hope everyone is doing well. Let's do something together soon.

Hugs all around,
Bek