The Chill Kid with the Cool Hat

Dream

Ok, so get this. I'm just kinda walking around and all of a sudden a see a lobster in my back yard. First off, I'm thinking, "What the hell is a lobster doing here?" So it comes after me and i kick it. Kinda like a field goal kick. Pretty good distance for me. Anyways, apparently that didn't kill it and it started crawling back, and it's moving fast. And stranger, there's another one coming. What the fuck is with lobsters on dry land?

I start walking back to the house and then look back at them. They're catching up to me and there's more! Like 9 or 10 of them! What the fuck is going on here? I get to the stairs at my backdoor and to my horror, there's about 20 lobsters down in that little pit before my door. Holy fucking shit!!!

So I'm pretty much trapped between these two masses of lobsters and they're trying to get me. So I walk over along the edge of the pit where the lobsters can't get me and then I just sit there for a few minutes watching them. To my surprise, they start climbing on top of each other to reach the doorknob. Amazingly they did and they turned it open! Smart fuckers!

Anyways, they all fall towards the door and push it open. Who's on the other side by my dogs Kiki and Wrinkles. Since they aren't the smartest things in the world, they think, "Ooooh! Something to play with!" and go over to sniff them and get pinched in the nose. I jumped in the door way and flattened a few of them. I should mention that I'm terrified of lobsters and just touching them in that way freaked me out. So I kicked the rest of them out the door and closed it.

One of the claws got caught in the door and ofcourse my dogs went over to sniff it and Wrinkles got pinched again. So I run around the house looking for my dad or Chris and also something to fend off the lobsters with.

Suddenly I hear a crash. Oh shit! The lobsters are in! Then I hear my dogs crying. I'm coming Kiki and Wrinkles! I dash downstairs to see the situation. Kiki is completely covered in lobsters! They killed my dog!!! THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS!!! Wrinkles is barking her ass off and I start kicking the lobsters out the door.

All of a sudden, Wrinkles starts running out too. What the fuck are you doing Wrinkles??? I kick one last lobster out and I see it lands somewhat behind Wrinkles. Seeing what could happen, I run out the door and run after Wrinkles. The lobster was clsoing in on Wrinkles and she just kinda sat down on the ground. As soon as I got to her, the lobster clamped down on her stomach. Noooo!!! Wrinkles!!!! That's when I woke up.

Anyways, so I went into work today and talked to Mike, the store manager. He said there might be a full-time position open. I asked where.

Full-time Seafood Cleark

Isn't that just fucking creepy?