Life as we know it sucks

Forgive and Forget What Was Said

Current Mood: hungry

Current Music: Sarah Hudson - Unlove Me

So, I guess I should let everyone know that I swallowed my fears and emailed Christopher. I really did. Ok, well, I didn't get the response I'd hoped for - but I did get the response I expected (if that makes sense). Yes, he still hates me and still wants to rip my heart out and stomp on it, just as I did his.

It's quite depressing.

Here's what I said: So, how's life.

His response: Shitty.

My response: That's always a good thing.

My response again once I didn't get anymore responses: So, how're you liking the snow? And how'd you like Christmas? (And I asked him a bunch of other things). And whatever else I missed because you hate(d) me?

His response: Look I hate myself enough without you giving me a bunch of guilt. So just please don't email me anymore. I don't feel like having to get a new email address and/or screen name

My response (lol): Fine. Just hate me forever. It just doesn't fucking matter.

His response: If it doesn't matter then why did you have to email me back? I mean I asked you nicely not to email me . . .I wasn't rude about it or anything. Yet you selfishly decided to do what you wanted to do, not even thinking about anyone else's feelings. Thanks for ignoring everything I said and thinking about yourself . . . again.

My response (a little too nice for my taste): Look I'm sorry. I just let my something - emotions (I don't know) - get the best of me. I will politely stop bothering you.



And that was that. No more. I think that if he had been me, he would have thought he was being rude or mean or something like that. How do you think, Chris, it feels to have someone you care about say they don't want to talk to you anymore, huh? Yea, I did a shitty thing, but that's in the past. You have to learn to forgive and forget.

I guess I should be telling myself that.

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Good fences make good neighbors.