Life as we know it sucks

Just Tell Me One Thing

Current Mood: upset and tired

Current Music: no music

written November 25

My family isn't so bad. Well, my brother, my cousins Michael and David. Not the women of the family. Women bore me. All they talk about is tupperware, flea markets and craft festivals. Makes me want to chew off my arm I get so bored. Guys are more interesting. *shrugs*

I guess that's why I've been trying to seek some companionship. Failed with Christopher (unfortunately - and he made me so happy). Joseph is too busy having a life and so is Danny. Plus Danny kinda likes me too.

Why can't I have a good frienship like Jen and Jack on Dawson's Creek minus the gayness? If it was a just a regular straight guy . . . though that probably wouldn't work.

I'll never be truly happy. I miss Rachel . . . I'm trying to find absolutely anyone to sub for her . . . impossible. Christopher was a great sub, but he hates me now, so that rules him out. I mean I can understand why he hates me, but I just don't want him to. Well, who would want someone to hate them anyway?

I love Christopher like a friend. That's how close we became in a few short weeks. But I just don't remember that anymore. I don't remember anything about him except that he loves Good Charlotte, mob movies, Ashlee Simpson and Day-Day's a whore.

What if he's calling Ashton? What if she gets online just to fuck him over? Why is she such a bitch? Doesn't she see he's hurting and that he doesn't need more pain from you?!

I HATE HER! Why couldn't he like anyone but her?! Why does everyone have to like her?! WHY! JUST TELL ME THAT!



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"I love you" is only 8 letters . . . then again, so is "bullshit."