Life as we know it sucks

I Hate You and You and You!

Current Mood: tired and blah

Current Music: none

written 11/17

Well. He seemed to have taken care of that little problem. He blocked me on his buddy list. Asshole. Oh well. It's for the best, so I don't even know why I'm calling him an asshole. I didn't want to block him, but at least I could stand not talking to him. The one thing I cannot, though, is the fact that he and Ashton were talking all last night online . . . that's what we'd do after he got off work. Why does she have to take everything from me? I fucking hate her! I HATE HER!

And I just don't want her to fuck him over. That's how much I care about him even if I do seem to really dislike him and all the flirting he does with her right in front of me.

Today he was like, "Hey Asthon! I wrote about you today!" (in our freewrites) He would never show me what he wrote about me . . . or even tell me if he did. FUCK YOU! Ugh! I hate you Ashton! I HATE YOU AND I HATE YOU AND I HATE YOU! I just hate everyone. EVERYONE!

I had another sort of breakdown in the car. I thought my head was going to explode I was crying and hyperventilating so much. *sigh* I'm so stressed and depressed and I just want to get over this . . . hopefully alive.

I feel like it's hopeless sometimes though. Whatever. I have Shane. Everytime I think about suicide or cutting, I think about him. He told me tonight that he wanted to break up with me when he found out I was cutting. Oh that would have made things a hell of a lot easier. *sarcasm*

FUCK IT ALL!

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"I love you" is only 8 letters . . . then again, so is "bullshit."