And Yet I Digress

Al is Coming

My 15 year old sister, Al, wants to come visit me this weekend. Friday begins our homecoming celebrations and Al wants to go see what happens at college festivities. There is the pep rally, the bonfire, some shows, the parade, and the football game. Of course there are other ways of "celebrating" around campus (mostly off-campus), but I'd never take my under-age sister to anything I didn't want her running home to tell our parents about.

But my parents ( well, actually just my mom) don't really want her to come. My mom didn't want her hanging around bad college influences. Especially college guys. Big College guys that would take advantage of a little defensless high school girl. Some really cute football jock that would seduce her and convince her to drop out of school and elope with him.

Too bad I don't know any guys like that.

Too bad I never run into any guys like.

Why is it that when she steps foot on campus, every guy will be instantly attracted to her? Is it because she's a few years younger? I've been to nursing homes and not one old man acted like that and I'm at least 50 years younger than they are!

Not that I actually want some old guy to come on to me. I was just comparing the absurdity of -- Oh! Yuck! I just had a mental picture of a toothless, wrinkled old man trying to grope me or something! That's disgusting! Those dirty old men! Those dirty young college guys! Trying to get with naive young ladies. That's gross! Can't they get someone their age? Granted all the women their age are way more mature, but they don't have to have someone on their own maturity level.
I can't let my sister come here. I don't want to be held responsible when some dirty ol' geezer, I mean some clean young frat trys trys to take advantage of my she-must-be-dumb-if-she-fell-for-it sister.

OH CRAP! Marvin Gaye just came on! Is that an omen?! If Al comes I'll have to put a sign around her neck that says "NO TOUCHING!" No one, I mean NO one will be getting anything on!

Oh! God! I can't write anymore! I need to cleanse my mind of all bad mental pictures. Thanks a lot Marvin!