Life as we know it sucks

I should stop lying to myself

Current Mood: I'm kinda tired

Current Music: none actually

I've been writing a lot lately, haven't I? I guess when bad things are going on like when I was depressed or now when I'm confused and have something interesting happening, I tend to write a lot more because I have more happening to me.

Well, yesterday Christopher called at 7 o'clock. I knew Shane would be calling, so I got Christopher to call instead so I could talk to him . . . instead. I didn't want to talk to Shane. Ugh. Yes . . . I'm insane. Just keep reading.

So, we were talking and talking and oh hey! talking until about 8:45 about how I should stop lying to myself and admit my situation. It's so hard to. I just want to keep living in oblivion. *sigh* It's so much easier that way.

He said he wants me to be honest with myself, him and Shane. So, he's concerned about everyone. I asked him what he wants and he's just like Shane.

"It doesn't matter what I want." Eventually, though - with my magic charm - he told me what he wants. He said, "Yea, I mean, I'd really like to get with you, but I just want you to do what makes you happy because that's all that matters."

He's so sweet and it makes me hate them both. Maybe that's how it'll end up. It'll all end with me boyfriendless and lonely and everyone else happy . . . *sigh*


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To everyone out there who's a little different, I say damn a magazine, these are God's fingerprints.


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To everyone out there who's a little different, I say damn a magazine, these are God's fingerprints.