There must be a light under the bushel!

"You throw like a girl!"

"Well, I am a girl!" This is an exchange that took place between my father and I this weekend. I was tossing a ball to my brother's dog, much to the amusement of my dad and brother. Dad couldn't understand it. He told me he wasn't used to seeing me look girlie when doing athletic things because I used to be more of a tomboy. When I was younger, I would have been insulted by the girlie comment. Now, I just shake my head at him. I guess that small encounter explains a lot about why my personality is so contradictory.

The women's movement has been hell on my father. He has respect for women, but he doesn't understand them as well as he thinks he does. I listened to a lot of his philosophies growing up, and many of them had to do with the roles of men and women in the modern world. I spent a lot of time trying to prove him wrong. When he said women weren't as logical as men, I showed him that I can be more logical than he is. When he said men were naturally more athletic, I proved to be more athletic than my brother. I never liked being told I couldn't do something, so I feel like I've spent a lot of time trying to make a point. I also didn't like being told that my role was a nuturer and homemaker. Whenever we were given chores, I fought to mow the yard instead of do the laundry.

But, now that I'm older, I've proven all I needed to prove. Those statements don't get me riled up like they once did. Instead, I find myself being comfortable in my own skin. I like to paint my toenails. I like to play sports. I don't often wear dresses, but I'm particular about my hair and makeup. I'm comfortable getting sweating playing outside, but I also like to get dolled up for a night out. I like to drink beer, but I love drinks with little umbrellas when I'm on vacation. I've decided that doing the laundry is easier than mowing the yard, so given a choice between the two, you'll find me folding clothes. I also found that I like a pretty house, so I spend time looking for the perfect decorations. And, yes, being a nuturer is part of my personality, so rather than fight it, I accept it when the feeling comes upon me.

It's been an interesting battle with myself. I wonder if most people share this experience with me of taking the influences of their parents and adapting them to fit. I have to say that it's a contented feeling when you learn to stop fighting against them or against yourself and accept who you are.