There must be a light under the bushel!

New man on the singles' scene

My brother and his wife separated back in November, and we've all been on pins and needles waiting to see what the outcome will be. We all really like his wife, and we were shocked and confused that they split up. Well, we want whatever's best for my brother, so we've tried to just take a backseat and give him the space he needs. However, he's staring to drive us all crazy with how clammish (my made-up word for the day) he's being.

He refuses to spend any time with any of us; in fact we've probably seen him five or six times since the split, and he doesn't stick around any longer than he can get away with. That's not like him at all. He usually camps out here for brief periods of time whenever he's got the time off work, but we've tried to be patient knowing it's got to be hard being around people who know you so well when you're hurting.

It seems, however, that more is going on than we realized. He has decided that he really doesn't want to try another go at the marriage, when we were under the impression that she was the one with all the turmoil. My dad finally asked him outright where his head was, and he said he's amazed at the number of girls after him. He's 32, good-looking, with a good job, a great personality, no kids, and a Beamer. What's not to like? Geez, my own friends are even hinting at the hook-up possibilities. But, come on, why does he seem to think he's going to find something so wonderful on the other side when he already had a good match?

I guess I just hadn't imagined what would be waiting for him because my situation was very different when I divorced. Women around 30 don't have the same playing field as men do. He's got an age range from the early 20s to the mid 30s to explore, and he's on the most wanted list, whereas I am avoiding the men with ready-made families in their 30s.

Maybe something was missing in his marriage that we just don't know about, but I don't want to see him get caught up in the gilded dazzle of the single life, only to realize that he left the best behind him. I know men and women are different, and I believe that men bounce back more quickly after a break-up in many cases, but I wish he'd get out the ink for the paperwork before jumping into the whirlwind.