My Life...

Sinking...

Part of me thinks that I really do have depression, and part of me is still denying it.
I mean, I haven't been officially diagnosed, but the school counsellor told me I have it.
Plus, I have all the symptoms that are in the booklet she gave me and on the websites I've looked up.

Right at this moment, I'm not opposed to the thought of medication anymore because I really don't want to feel this way anymore. It's like I have an underlying feeling of sadness all the time that I want to get rid of.

I've also had a lot of mood swings lately. I can't control them, even though I try and calm myself down before they get out of hand.

It's like as soon as I start to feel better, I sink back into the depression and get swallowed up, but a few hours/a day later, I feel hyper again and I'm fine for a while.

I haven't seen the counsellor for a few weeks, I think she's waiting until I've gone to my appointment at the adolescence centre to call me back to see her.

Now that I'm pretty much open to the idea of medication, I want to go. I want to be properly diagnosed so I can deal with it. There's always this doubt in my mind that I'm NOT depressed, but when I think about it, I realise that I am.

Then, if I AM diagnosed, how am I going to handle it? Of course, Mum and Dad will know, but I mean it when I say that I don't want ANYONE else knowing. But, the counsellor will know because the adolescent centre and school counsellors are linked. That means the principal will be told in case something goes wrong. He already knows I'm going to the centre because he had to sign the form.

This is confusing.

The appointment is in 22 days...

~*.: Sarah :.*~
Current mood: confused


~~Piper: I'm getting stalked by psycho killers and I hide in the shower!
Piper/Leo Harry/Ginny Ron/Hermione Dawson/Jen Pacey/Audrey Steph/Max Jack/Nina
Brooke/Deacon Amber/Rick~~