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I don't have issues. I have subsrciptions. :) Yep- gonna make a statement tonight. Not ranting, complaining (much) or having a tantrum. Just something on my mind that I want to post.

Everyone falters and fails. Right? I mean...we all have times in our lives where we give in to things, and we falter. We decide to do things, knowing of the possible consequences, and accept them. I smoke. So shoot me. I know it isn't healthy, and I rely on it all together too much. Don't yell at me, or preach at me. I know God doesn't like that I am knowingly hurting a being that He created. I'm dealing with God on that, okay? That is between He and I. Just like everything else I do in my life. Why, then, do some of my friends run from me? They hide. One of my friends asked me a question recently, that I knew she would hate the answer to. About something I was doing. Instead of lying to her, I gave her the truth. Straight up. No bars held. She didn't like it, and then talked about it to someone else. Someone she thought she was spreading the gossip to. However, that person already knew....and that just made her more mad. So last night, I am talking to Joshua about this, and tell him this, and some other things that could be adding to the situation. And I said "You know I'm gonna loose some friends over this, right?" And he said "No, you're not. Because if they stop being your friend over this, then they were never friends anyway." And he is absolutly right. But that sucks for me. Because I know the lectures are coming. And I know people are going to step even further away. But, I don't need a fair weathered friend anyway.

Bringing me onto my next statement. I am a Christian. I would think that people would know this. Most of my friends here are Christian. Why is it, then, that knowing what the good book says about judging....why do you do it to me? Okay...point out my errors. But don't hound me about them. Pray for me, but don't nag me. It bugs me, and sometimes, to be honest, it makes me feel like I have to uphold an image because I am your friend....not because I am a Christian. Well you know what? Last year, I assumed some things. And I called the parties involved on the carpet. But then I hounded. And now I know how that feels. I want to directly reach out and tell Eric and Joelle that I am so sorry. Sorry for assuming. Sorry for hounding. Sorry for judging. I truly am. The tables are turned, and it sucks. Joelle, you have come so far in the last few months, and you have exhibited an amazing amount of forgiveness for me. Thank you. For not turning away like I would have at that time. You have no idea how much my perspectives have changed...or maybe you do, and that is why a few of you make it appoint to see me, and others run away. Well guess what....if I'm not Christian enough to be your friend....then I am sorry for you. Judge not one another....and God will judge you.

Statement made.

Not to embarass, not to shame you into anything. But to merly say that I am who I am, and nothing is going to change that. I am just me. I am a daughter, a sister, a neice, a cousin, an aunt, a God mother, a best friend, a girlfriend, a Christian. That's me.
Take me, or leave me. Wouldn't be the first time either way.

Lovingly,
Beckie