Years Aboard the ANS Fire Lily

Chapter 2- Payment for the Rescue and an Ominous Warning

We land on the coast of Wrusha at the miniscule and ramshackle town of Oranghi, which is still in the days of hover-carriages. It's very cold though sunny, and I fear that the wind might do poor Princess Fiona in, as she's a stick and is already heavy and delusional with fever. That being thought out, I call for a carriage for her and everyone that gathered around my big red spaceship gasps. They suddenly burst into even louder murmurs and I'm almost sure that no one in this measly port has any idea what a carriage is. To my surprise, a very old-but-once-fine carriage pulls up in but a few minutes, and what seems to be a voluntary footman opens the door, looking at me for approval. My nursemaids quickly escort the frail princess inside, following her, and I close the door. After giving a dark glare to the semi-toothless footman, I tell him where to go in a very stern undertone. He gulps and goes to the front, ready to drive the flea-bitten horses on their way.

I admit that I am a harsh woman, cold to many strangers that seem shady. This is a fault of mine, no doubt, but it has saved my life many times. I think that any fault of mine, as long as it doesn't do harm to anyone but me, should undoubtedly be kept, especially if it has saved my life. Well, on with the story.

So, I next call for a carriage for Jackson, Pompadoore, and myself. To my surprise, again, another carriage arrives. However, rather than possessing the seedy worn-out splendor of the other one, our carriage is downright shot. There are bullet holes through the back and roof, the seat has been pulled out so only hard wood remains, the electric light at the top flickers dimly, and I promise that I saw a cockroach or two scurry from the light of the open door. So these people aren't so far away from the Capital that they cannot recognize their own princess.

An overweight man wearing a tank top with mysterious splotches on his shirt is our footman. He laughes as I step into the carriage, and then he dares to pinch my rump. So, without further delay, I kick him in the jaw with my red boots and knock him out. He falls with a groan and I step on his back as I climb to the driver's seat, ready to let the horses fly myself.

After I make sure everything is in order and my crew will next fly to the Langshore Port, a much finer and larger city where I will meet them, I start the horses and they take off. At closer inspection, I see that beneath their thin and worn coats and bland eyes, they are actually hardier animals than they seem and travel quite well. Indeed, we travel quickly and before I know it, I'm getting off with a sore bum in front of a large gray castle palace. That's not to say time hasn't passed though, for when I had gotten off the ship it was mid-morning, and now it is a few hours after dusk.

After handing the reigns to a valet, I straighten my skirt quietly and whistle for my Secretary of Ship and my first-mate. They likewise come along silently, making all three of us somber and quite serious. I see no sign of Princess Fiona's carriage, but after climbing the many steps to the main entrance of her castle, I see my attendents inside, for the doors are made of glass. They huddle together, like a bunch of frightened mother hens, and I smile warmly, for they are all so very sweet and matronly. I really do love them all.

They see me approaching and come to greet my little party and I. The group of short little biddes happily throw the large glass doors open and rush out, asking many questions of our journey and what is to happen next. It takes a small time to quiet them, but I eventually do and sigh with relief, for they are such persistant matrons.

"Pompadoore, Jackson, and I will continue into the castle, where we wil undoubtedly meet with the Emperor. I am afraid he will not likely want to put us up for the night, so please my dear attendents, go and find The Hotel Charloight. Get enough rooms for all of us. I trust that you all want to share? Yes, I see that all of you do. Pompadoore and Jackson will share, but I require a room for myself. Make sure to get the good suites, higher up in the building, hmm?" After finishing with my speech, the whole crowd of attendents waddle in a swarm, like a group of bold white chickens invading the capital of Wrusha. They are off to take over a bus, storm the hotel, and to settle nicely into rooms.

"Well then, I suppose this is the castle," Pompadoore says, blinking at the quote carved into the grey stone above the entrance. Pompadoore is versed in many laguages from many countries, but the light is dark and he has to squint to make out what the slogan is.

"What's it say Pompadoore?" Jackson says, peering at the words too.

"It says, 'Let no enemy enter lest he leave scathed, for the eye of the Emperor is always watching," Pompadoore says, pointing to the words as he reads them and then becoming quiet toward the end. Pompadoore and Jackson gulp loudly.

"Oh please! Load of tosh that is! We all know that the emperor is a fat, jolly Wrusshian who loves his vodka and whisky!" I exclaim. With that being said, we head into the castle. (Or "into the belly of the beast" as Jackson called it.)

I have been to the palace before and soon find the audience room. I do not go in, however, for it is common courtesy to wait for the emperor or king to be available to you, rather than barging in on your own and making a spectacle of yourself. So, the three of us sit down on a bench and wait until a guard comes. He wears the traditional guard garb and ends up tickling Jackson's nose with his red feather stuck in the crown of his helmet. Jackson ends up sneezing all over him, and to my wicked amusement, the guard wipes his sprayed face gingerly, before gagging. Jackson has sneezed out a very large and rather green booger.

"The Emperor of Wrusha will see you now," the guard says pompously to us, and Pompadoore eyes him curiously. The guard looks back at Pompadoore before my Secretary finally speaks.

"The proper announcement of the Wrushian Court is 'The Emperor of Wrusha will see you now, OH GROUP IN THE WRUSHIAN COURT,'" Pompadoore says, blinking again. It's a funny habit of his when he finishes explaining something very simple. I often liken him to a quirky erudite owl.

"And HOW, sir, do you know this?" the guard says, swelling himself up. Judging by his outfit and the way he acts, I'd say that the guard to the audience room has only been instilled in this type of position for a few days, though the position itself is of high esteem and regard.

"Well, quite frankly, it's written on your forehead. I do believe you had it written on there before your post so you would remember it. I say, you haven't been in this position long, have you?" Pompadoore asks, blinking again. The guard suddenly looks angry, and seeing as how the army of Wrusha is known for the training of its soldiers, I quickly pull my Secretary with me as I walk into the Audience Room.

"Lady Larkson! How good to see you again! How are you? How are you?" the Emperor says, rushing toward me from off of his throne. We embrace, and I think yet again how such a jolly big emperor could have brought up such a whiny stick of a daughter.

"I am fine Emperor Cornelius," I smiled. His cheeks are tinged pink and I figure that he has been taking small sips all day from a bottle of old whiskey by his chair. However, the Emperor is quite sober- he is reknowned for how much he can drink.

"It has been such a long time. Let's see, the last time I saw you was when..." the Emperor taps his bottom lip, looking up at the sky while sifting through his happy brain for the answer. However, Pompadoore knows, for Pompadoore remembers and knows almost everything.

"It was after Lady Larkson rescued your home village from the angry twenty-horned beast Perpetuatoire by cutting off all of its horns twenty times, and then saved your great-great-great-grandmother from a river flood using a plastic bag, her laser blaster, and a lot of chewing gum. I do believe it was night, right after the cold rainy season. In fact, I'm sure of it since I am the Lady nearly had all her toes frozen off from her submergence in the river," Pompadoor says smartly.

"Oh now, Pompadoore! You make it sound as if the feat was hard!" I smile. The feat was hard, but I do believe that my ego sometimes gets too swelled.

"Nonsense Lady Larkson! And now, you've rescued my darling daughter, the apple of my eye, the whipped topping of my sundae, the cherry of my sugar on top, the creme of my orange, the beef of my beefero-"

"I know. I know, Emperor. Really, you needn't go on with the foods," I smile graciously. I hadn't eaten much all day and beefroni is honestly just too much.

"Yes, well... I'd like to reward you handsomely. After all, those Oraldainians are barbarous creatures! If their nuclear technology wasn't so strong, I might have launched a war myself!"

"Yes Emperor. You're right there... I find the misbalance of muclear power most unsettling," I declared. Pompadoore looked ready to give out some statistics, but I shake my head no. The Emperor of Wrusha liked to talk politics, not statistics. The two were always very different.

"Now, on to your reward. How about 10, 000, 000, 000 double heavy Universal Golden Fulls?" the emperor asks, as if he just has to write a check and then the business is done. Suddenly, there is a crumpling behind me. Jackson has fainted!

"Jackson! Jackson!" I call out his name, smacking his cheek gently. He still isn't waking up, but he feels very hot indeed. Finally, out of the kindness of my heart, I smack him right across the face, the loud "thwack" echoing in the Audience Room. Jackson sputters awake.

"My dear boy, are you quite all right?" the Emperor asks.

"Well, I think so. All I remember you saying is that we'd get 10 trillion double heavy Universal Golden Fulls. But that's ridiculous," Jackson laughs. None of the rest of us are laughing and then, very slowly, my first mate catches on. "You mean, you were serious?"

"Yes," the Emperor says happily. Jackson faints again. I decide to leave the care of Jackson to Pompadoore and walk with the Emperor into a different corner of the Audience Room.

"Sir, are you truly willing to pay that much? That kind of money is enough to buy twenty of my ships! And my ship was no cheap thing!" I exclaim.

"Lady Larkson, I have a large sum of money. And the Oraldinians were demanding double that. It seems only fair that the amount I have said is the amount I should pay. Also, word on the street, so my Chief of Commoner Relations says, that someone very important is going to try and drive your glory into the ground, if not you with it," at this, the Emperor looks at me. At first, I thought he was joking, but by his somber and bleak face, I realize that he wasn't.

"Very well Emperor. I shall take your money with great gratitude and a heavy heart, as well as your warning, though I accept your warning more readily," I say quietly. I shall have to inform Pompadoore and Jackson as soon as we leave, and be sure to leave as soon as possible on the Fire Lily to go immediately to the League.

The Emperor quickly calls his Treasurer, who transfers the money into my Galactic Account right before my eyes. Jackson faints again. I think I should give him a pep talk about the feminine fainting thing. I'm very sure his new girlfriend won't like it if he faints while she's trying to make a move on him.

"Thank you again Emperor Cornelius," I say formally. We shake hands but end up hugging again. Every since I first saved his life at the AN Conference, I have been to his aid at least once every year. And then, after saving his eccentric great-great-great-grandmother who refused to get out of the freezing river, we've been very close. You see, at the same time I was struggling against a murky icy river, he had saved my mother from being killed by a murderous gang whose leader I had offed. So, a life for a life, and a friendship to be shared by both. Now, I had saved his daughter from a certainly torturous and painful death TWICE, though he only knew of once, and now he was giving me a tip off of my own.

"Remember, be careful! I have heard that the attackers were plotting to go against you as soon as you had set foot in our country," the Emperor muttered into my ear and I nodded. We saluted and I led Pompadoore and Jackson out. Never had I seen the Emperor so serious, not even while he told my of my mother's rescue, from which he almost died of himself.

Lady Cherry Larkson, Captain of the ANS Fire Lily, author of the NEW series, Years Abroad on the ANS Fire Lily.