Life as we know it sucks

Waiting for a Miracle

Current Mood: happy

Current Music: Fever for the Flavor - Hot Action Cop

This is to boost my whole, uh, rates and reviews, but could you guys, who are everyday readers of my diary, chekc out my "Secret" poem and tell me what you think and the "Remembrance" poem, please? I would realllly like to know what people think. Thanks. : )

Dinkus

Back to our NORMAL schedule:


(11-2)

This day has been the worse. <sigh> I don't even know why I am crying. It's only 8:40 and I can't even talk to Shane. I already did. An hour ago for 15 minutes. 15 TINY minutes.

I have returned after a few minutes of mulling over my pathetic and boring life. I mean, Khalil is stalking me and Shane freaks out about that. I can't help that he still likes me. Ugh.

What if girls are at his house right now?What if he's flirting with them or just looking at them? What if he loses total interest in me because we'll never see each other? Oh God, I don't want that to happen.

Why don't I have faith in anything? Why don't I trust him fully yet? Is it because I have been hurt so many times and I'm just not allowing myself to trust? Is it because I'm stupid? I'm me.

What would I do if we got married and he died on me? I couldn't live after that happened. I would probably die in misery and sadness and remorse. What the fuck would I do if he died tomorrow! I would have absolutely nothing TO LIVE FOR! All this talking about death is depressing me.





"Feeling like I'm due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign.
And I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes."

-Thrice

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like sands through the hour glass,
so are the days of our lives.