From June 21 Onward

The Year in Review

July 18, 2003

         Yes indeed.
         Two months ago, I closed this journal. The fact that I have my own blog (http://dris.webhop.org/), and the new restrictions on free accounts at Writing.Com are so limiting caused me to use my own server as an alternative.
         This journal began on June 21, 2002 as a desperate outlet for all the emotion I had building up. The situation wasn't pretty, so neither were my words.
         Slowly, as the year pushed on through my sophomore high school days, things got better. Very slowly. There were still a few brushes with Personal Hell, but none so bad as the initial.
         Then, after Christmas break, everything was clear. It was almost as if the situation that killed me emotionally had never happened. The scars were still there, but they didn't make any difference in the way I lived my life. The relationships I had with the individuals who were involved began to strengthen again. Wounds were being healed.
         This journal became less a tome of concentrated angst, and more of a daily record. Entries were typical, nothing huge happened.
         A few minor peaks and valleys later, May hit. Writing.Com was all but abandoned for the blog I'd been working on. Only the most personally influential works were left in my portfolio, including this journal and all of its entries.
         June 21, 2003 passed without these eyes even glancing into this text. I did, however, acknowledge the event in my own mind. One year ago, I was in shambles. Now, here I am.
         I just finished reading some of the milestone entries in this journal. Wow, those entries read like a desperate fool. I can still justify it in my mind, but that doesn't mean my earlier records didn't liken to a shambling old Vietnam vet's tales of the war.

         So, what do I have to say for all of this? It's been a life experience, one that's changed me forever. I've lost a little trust in people in general, dropped a little naivety, but I managed not to become a cynical jerk. Myself and the individuals involved have grown in every way a human being can grow.
         This year wasn't easy. It was necessary.
         It still isn't easy. At least, not consistently. There are still lots of speed bumps on the road of life. Some are small, others are like entire mountains. But once you've climbed to the top, you get to let the sweat roll off of you as you speed down the other side.

         To think of where I was at this day a year ago is to be lifted up. I'm satisfied.

         It's done now. I just felt like giving a rant about this journal and how my life's changed.
         By the way, I believe it was October or a little later that I expressed a lot of happiness over an event that I couldn't reveal. It's safe now. The secret was, my youth pastor is finally getting married. I couldn't tell anyone then, for various reasons. No need to worry about anything at this point.
         That's about it, my year in review. And with this new beginning, my favorite band (East West, of course) released a new album, appropriately titled "Hope In Anguish". You know where this is going.
         Recommended listening: "The Final Say" by none other than East West. From the new album, no less. This will be my final entry. If you want to continue reading what God hath wrought, check out my blog at http://dris.webhop.org/. Goodnight.

~ Dris ~