Alternate Worlds Explored Archive b/j

The Tablet and The Rib/ Thermy Thermometer

6-8-03 Prompts

If you could change one thing to make life easier for your own gender, what would you change?

(Don't forget the reasons behind your decisions!)

Hmm this is a tough one for me. I could rail on and on about the monthly cycle aka the curse aka the over ripe tomato aka the period, but I won't. It is way too obvious.

No, instead I will ponder the difference between the fact that guys are a totally different species than gals, albeit for some dumb biological reason the two species need each other to perpetuate their separateness.

The Tablet and The Rib

Men and women think differently than each other. Even the most feminine male and the most masciline female cannot cross the female-male/male-female barrier. Why? Because men and women are different species from each other, pure and simple.

The main physical difference is of course the internal plumbing on the gals and the external on the guys. Also why do many women, though not all, have to have those fatty round bouncy pull the muscles in your shoulders if they ain't supported properly mammary glands and guys can have the compact pecks? A woman with big tits won't produce more or richer milk for the bambinos than a small titted woman. So why the H-U-G-E diversity?

(hehehee I couldn't help myself. I just had to use that extended expression I'm so fond of.)

I'm willing to bet men and women feel differently from each other. A man's sense of protecting family and home is different than a woman's sense. Both men and women are sexual beings from puberty until the faucet goes limp or the womb dries up, but they feel differently about it. I'm willing to bet on it. Women usually embrace their rights of passage into menopause, where men invent drugs to extend their virility into obscene old age.

A man's logic is different than a woman's logic. I say that is because we came from different spectrums of the evolutionary chain but when monkeys evolved that was where men and women were linked irrevokably together. Or another explanation that is totally irreverent but more to my liking; God invented Men and Women to be totally noninteractive until the first guy got lonely and started pining away how it would be nice to have someone to talk to besides the monkeys, goats, sheep and vipers. Of course the Bible says that woman was created from Adam's rib. I don't believe that for a minute. If that were so it would be cloning and everyone knows that when ya clone an animal it comes out as a duplicate to that animal that it was cloned from. Same genetic material and all that stuff. No I think the All Mighty cheated and took another species he had created and placed in another garden somewhere and caused Adam to sleep, removed his rib, because if he was going to receive something he needed to pay for it somehow, and when he woke his side hurt, the rib was gone, and the woman was looking at him with the curiousity and awe she has when observing another of God's wonders.

So was the beginning of the phrase as spoken for the first time by Eve, "Lord! It's a wonder."

And Adam being the cause and effect type thinker that guys tend to be figured Eve was created from his missing rib and Eve having that instilled understanding of how fragile the male ego is, let him believe the nonsense. It was a private joke shared between the Lord and Eve.

So what AM I really getting at?

The one thing I would really change for my gender to make life a bit easier? The Truth Dammit! A gospel needs to be found in the form of a tablet written by God with the remnant of a human male rib bone telling the TRUTH that women are not lower than men and were NOT originally placed on this Earth to SERVE men. No the two species were brought together to keep each other company and become equal companions and friends.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

If one of your material things could talk to you, what do you think it would say, and how would you respond?

(Don't forget the reasons behind your decisions!)

Thermy Thermometer

My food thermometer at work. It will measure temperatures from -10 degrees to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. (I'll have to look it up for the Celcius scale.) I would not only give it a voice but because it gets stuck into things I will make it male. (hey I'm still geared up from the previous if statement )

So it is time to check that first battered fry order and my oil wasn't quite up to temp and I need to make sure that extra thick chicken strip is cooked to 165 degrees or more. I turn on my digital food thermometer and wait for it to wake up. It always has to yawn and stretch a bit and the numbers flash and climb and eventually stabilize. Takes around thirty seconds or less.

I can almost hear it shouting its excitement when that little pointy tip gets closer and closer to piercing that nice white tender juicy hot piece of meat.

And then he is plunged in and my my my the things these ears hear, good thing I've not had virgin ears for some years now. And then just as the thermometer is ready to peak I hear the disappointment because the muscle surrounding it so cozy isn't quite hot enough to reach that max temp for this particular product. Back into the hot oil goes the tender but still virgi... errrr raw morsal and let it cook another 60 seconds. I can hear that thermometer giggling as I pick it up and once again it plunges into the hot muscular depths. This time the temp is right over the top and the whole restaurant hears "eeeewwww eeeewwwWWW eeeEEEWWWW EEEEEWWWWWW GGGNNNNNNN EEEEEEWWWW and then the scream! I hollar "ORDER UP" as I grab the tongs to place the chicken in the basket and warn the thermometer that he really needs to be quieter or I will have to place him in the freezer for an hour.

One thing about the thermometer, whether cold or hot the tip is always pointy and hard I guess that could be a selling point for some women. Me I'd prefer Thermy was a bit more restrained when working.


Take care and may your road lead to only good places.

Deb

Compassion and the effort to try and understand some thing that was not understood before is a step toward acceptance not only of others but most importantly of yourself.

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