The Thought's of Me!

Parents

What an odd day it has been so far, and it's only ten in the morning. I woke up early this morning, and eight thirty. I usually am waking up right about now.
Right so, I go and sit in the living room where my mom is on the couch reading a book. My lil' bro walks in and hugs my mom, I don't know why, and she says he needs to take a shower. And he asks if he can take a bubble bath, and of course she says yes. Then I say that he should clean the tub first. I should've known better to open my mouth, but I didn't. My mom then proceeds to TELL me to clean the tub.

Yesterday I had this miny fit about how they never ASK me to do anything, they NEVER say please, and the NEVER say thank you. I would've been okay if she wouldn't said please at the end, but nooo.

Also, what ticks me off is that I'm NOT the one who wants to use the tub! My brother gets away with everything! He's ten year old! I was doing dishes, making my own bath, and doing laundry at that age. He doesn't have to do anything besides clean his room. Plus, he's always ordering me around, and my mom just lets him. Like I said, they never say please!

I get no respect from my family, as a daughter and a sister. I feel more like a maid than anything. Anyways, after I got my bro's bath ready I went to my room, sat down, and before I knew it, I was crying.

Okay, I don't cry much. I only cry when I get really upset or feel really really hurt. And thinking about how my parents never said that they loved me early on got me all sad and crap.

Things just aren't going my way it seems. I feel mistreated by my family. Or maybe I'm just over-reacting. Sometimes, I feel less like a daughter, and more like somebody who just happens to be there. A nice "Please" and "Thank you" would be nice, but I've never gotten that.

I just want somebody to be there for me when I feel down. I know I can't call most of my friends, they don't understand. I have somebody to go to, but I'm not sure right now. We're kinda...I don't know really...No matter where I go I can't help but feel USED. By friends and family.

I told myself awhile back that I wouldn't trust people so easily. That didn't work. I found myself slowly slipping to a place where I could believe everything they said. Now, I feel like that trust has been stepped on. I still care, and even love, most of them. But I can't help but wonder, if I open myself up for them again, am I setting myself up for more heartbreak?

I'm so confused right now...I'm not sure what to do anymore. My head's saying one thing, my heart is saying another, and I don't know which one to listen to. The only one who can help me is me. But, I don't know what to do. Should I give them a third try? Or just end it now?


"What would you do if Death stared you in the face? Would you run and hide? Or take it with pride?"

Merry Meet and Blessed Be