Fighting the Current

Hm, "mild schizophrenia?"

Not much to write.

lol, I just took a Personality Disorder Test:

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html

Schizotypal
Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.

Obsessive-Compulsive
Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder is similar to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder. People with this disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion.

Schizoid
People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. They genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners."

Avoidant
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.

Small parts from each fit me. None are exact. Schizotypal fits very well though, scarily well. I was surprised paranoid was "low," but they were really asking the wrong questions, lol. I'm unique...

Ah, and I took the Dante's Inferno Test:

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level | Score
Purgatory - The Repentant Believers | Moderate
Level 1 (Limbo) - The Virtuous Non-Believers | High
Level 2 - The Lustful | Very Low
Level 3 - The Gluttonous | Low
Level 4 - The Prodigal, the Avaricious | Very Low
Level 5 - The Wrathful, the Gloomy | Low
Level 6 (The City of Dis) - The Heretics | Very Low
Level 7 - The Violent, the Blashemers | Moderate
Level 8 (The Malebolge) - The Fraudulent, the Malicious, the Panderers | Moderate
Level 9 (Cocytus) - The Treacherous | Very Low

Level descriptions: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-information.html
Take the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

First Level of Hell - Limbo
Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

At least I'll have good company in Limbo.

Took that quiz three times. First time I got "Very High" under 8. Didn't think that fit me at all, everyone's deceitful on occasion. Took it again, got "Very High" for Purgatory. Didn't think I was deserving. So I took it again.

Anyway, I need to remember my dreams better. Keep remembering fragments...as they happen.

And I keep losing thoughts mid-train and having a very hard time of recovering them. This really isn't healthy. Especially when there's nothing which is distracting me.

This is hilarious. Takes forever to load, but it's worth it. http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/realhussein.php

I have 7 CDs' worth of pictures dating back to last April. Not all the CDs are full. And the most recent two or three need to be sorted through and files named.

Went to the library to see if they had articles from the 1930s. I have to go to the community college's library to use their microfiche for the New York Times.

The sequel to The Matrix comes out in about two weeks. Don't know if I really want to see it or not. The first was awesome... Sequels tend to not live up to the first, hope the Wachowski Bros. didn't ruin their world.

Phantom of the Opera is stuck in my head out of absolutely nowhere. I was listening to Sarah McLachlan or someone.

Headaches are coming less frequently. Still around my eyes most of the time. My eyes keep getting light-sensitive on me. The computer screen is hurting them right now. I haven't even been at it that long. The lights in school keep doing the same thing. And random stars, which worry me.

Really tired. It's been a long day. Tomorrow will be long as well.