The Thought's of Me!

Ahhhhhh!!!

Yes...you read right! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! That's me screaming, just in case you haven't figured it out yet.
So, now you'll probably asking yourself this: Why is she screaming when in the last entry she was cheering? Why???

BECAUSE I'M PISSED!! THAT'S WHY!! *Breathes slowly* I'm a very troubled teen! CAN'T YOU TELL?
This isn't the worst of it, oh no, it's not. You should have seen me earlier. I was very very pissed off. Yelling and screaming while I was walking to the buses. Caused quite a scene, and got several people to step about a foot away from me. Ahhh...the quietness of being angry. It's soothing in a way.

Okay, now that I've ranted a little...let's get down to the important stuff. Why am I angry? Several reasons.

First, school. Yesterday was advisory day. I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing a lot better in my hardest class (algebra) than I am in my other classes. So, Spanish teacher called me to her desk. Conversation goes something like this...

"What's this Anya?"
"Looks like a sixty two percent to me."
"That's what it is. And what's with these other grades."

Here I shrug. What else am I supposed to say? She goes into this whole thing about how I could do much better. Then, this is what really gets on my nerves, she says that she knows that I'm not happy about it.

Also, she says, that my parents aren't going to be happy about it either. Ummm...excuse me? How the f*** whould you know!? It didn't even cross her mind that maybe my parents don't give a f***! That after seven years of me being the "perfect child" they don't even bother to look at my grades anymore! They just sign the stupid thing! They don't bother asking questions, because, apparently they have a one-track mind.

They think that I'm always going to have "perfect grades." Which is a load of crap! Who does this Spanish teacher think she is? Maybe I am happy about it! Maybe, finally, after seven f***ing years I'm being me. I don't care what the f*** they say! I don't really care what I'm getting in school anymore.

I know people who look up to me because of my grades. Well, guess what? You're gonna have to find somebody else to look up to! Cause' I'm sorry to say it, actually, I'm not! You're gonna have to find somebody else to be a "role model." Most of the people I know now, I know them because they talked to me about my grades. And they just decided to keep coming back up to me and asking me what I got. Now, I say to those people... f*** OFF!

Okay, so the next reason I'm angry. I go away for two periods. Count them...one...two. TWO f***ING CLASSES! And suddenly, it feels like every single f***ing person I know is keeping something from me! I talked to somebody today, and they way they looked at me, just said they knew something. Then I hear whispers between my friends.

"Did you tell her?"
"Does she know?"

Well, no, I don't f***ing know! I don't know anything! I feel so left out and shit like that. If you have something to say to me, say it! I don't care! And if it's something bad, that you did, then you shouldn't have done it in the first place. Is it because they think I'll get angry? Well, NO f***ING DUH!

First off, you're keeping something from me. Friends don't do that. I mean, if I know something about one of my friends, I'm gonna tell them! Second, if it's bad news, most likely I'm gonna be pissed. But, I'll calm down, eventually.

Or, maybe, nothing is going on. Maybe I'm just paranoid. But I swear, I have this instinct that something is going on behind my back. The longer they wait to tell me, the more pissed off I'm gonna be! Better get it over with soon though. I have feeling, that by tommorrow, my temper is gonna be bad. If not by tommorrow, than by Monday.

I think my friends are keeping something from me.
f***ING SHIT! Sorry...got angry there.

Trust is for losers! I have trust issues, I know. But, can you blame me?
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Taste the Dark Side of the Rainbow!

"What would you do if Death stared you in the face? Would you run and hide? Or take it with pride?"

Merry Meet and Blessed Be