Spasmodic Contemplations

Been a While

Whew, I haven't added a new entry to this journal in over a month! I don't guess too much has happened since then. Let's see, we had Halloween. That was great. Brian dressed up as a hooker in drag, and god I don't know...He showed up at our meeting placed and I just died. I like, fell on the floor laughing because he just looked so comical. And Sean was his pimp! We kept going up to Brian and touching his "boobs," which were just some padded things inside his shirt. Haha, anyways, I dressed up as a hobbit from LOTR, and when we went to trick or treat my teacher's house, she said I did a good job :). God I love Mrs. Farina; I don't think there will ever be another teacher like her. She sewed us all capes so we could go watch The Two Towers with her when it comes out on December 18th. Hmmm...what else?

Well our football team made it to the second round of the playoffs...we got beat by Clebourne County a couple weeks ago :(. Oh well, I think we did pretty good for this year. At least we didn't go like, 0-10 like we did in 7th grade. Oh gah, for that game we had to o like...3.5 hours there? Man, long drive. Then when we got there, it was pouring down rain and lightening really bad, so they delayed the game for like, an hour or so (probably a little more). We went back and got clobbered. I don't even remember the score. Those people were jerks lol. The band went to go on the field to perform the halftime show, and those people said they didn't want us to. Said that they didn't want us to mess up their field. What??? Okay, first of all, the field was crap anyway. I mean, the mud was awful. Secondly, our nice smooth band shoes will mess up the field and the players' kleats won't? What the hell? Lol, oh well. We got over it. The seniors were kinda sad about not performing on te field, so we just played on the Brooks sidelines for our people since the others didn't want to hear it. We weren't too upset about the loss I don't think; it was kind of expected considering Clebourne County was ranked like, #1 in the state for 4a.

Oh, but on the way back...wow. Okay, we were all going to watch LOTR. And most people were either going to sleep or watch it, but the danceline deicded not I guess. They were sitting behind me and my friends and boy...interesting/disturbing conversation back there. They were talking about their sex lives and strategies and...ick. I mean, this one girl was like, "They LOVE it when you scream, even if you have to fake it." And then she started imitating what she did in bed....ehhhhh. And then they all went on about how they felt after their first time...I didn't want to hear it! Lol, I don't think it would have bothered me as much had it not been a bunch of like...freshmen and sophomore girls or if they had chosen some other time to do that. I was trying to watch one of my favorite movies and there they were, just a talking about all that stuff. I finally resorted to just putting my headphones on and trying to drown them out. And you know what else bugs me about that? They didn't even care that everyone else wanted them to be quiet. And they didn't even want to bother watching the movie. So they just talked and talked...agh. It seems like the only people who don't like LOTR are the people who just don't get it. Or maybe they just have a short attention span. This one girl was like, "That was SO boring...man, I hate that movie. The first four hours were boring, and the last five...I didn't even bother." Actually, it's not all that deep of a movie; it doesn't require that much deep-thinking. People are just to insular I guess...

I don't guess too much has happened since then. Just school and the like. Started playing concert band stuff after football season ended. I need to start working on my chair tryout and all state stuff, but I'm sick right now, and I just don't feel like it. Yay, I get to start putting up with Tia Taye's attitude. Yaywoo...I dislike that girl. She just...stares at me all the time, and she thinks she's better than me and therefore doesn't listen to me when I suggest things to help the clarinet section sound better. Okay, so I'm not officially the section leader yet, but I mean c'mon. I've made all state 3 times and stuff...don't mean to brag, but facts are facts, and i am better than she is. Oh well.

Hmmm...oh man, I've regressed as far as my liking Brian again. Lol, I still like him, but it's just different now somehow. I've been trying to just get over it, and I am I guess, but still...like, for example, I just dreamed about him again last night. Bad huh? And it upsets me because he doesn't ever talk to me. Seriously, I have 4 classes with him, and yet I'm lucky if he speaks more than 10 words to me all day...and he calls me his friend? It doesn't seem like it. I mean, I'm sure he'd be concerned and stuff if anything seriously bad happened to me, but it just seems like he doesn't care...Okay, so he did talk to me online the other night...we were working on a math bonus...some logic problem. I suck at logic but I did get the right answer. Those few lines exchanged made me happy for like, the rest of the night. I was in such a good mood. Wish he would do it again...lol; he's online right now, but he hardly ever IMs me...blahhhh. Love stinks...or infatuation rather.

But yeah, I thought that I would really like this trimester at school. And I do like my classes, but I don't think I've ever felt so isolated when i was surrounded by my "friends." The only time I really talk is during AP English...the only class I have with Bean Roy. Even at lunch, which I also have with Bean, I still hardly talk. just kinda listen and laugh. I don't know. Why am I like this? It bugs me.

Oooo...one good thing. I did get my laptop. Woohoo! That is why I'm finally writing in my journal. I have slightly more privacy now since my computer is in my room. I've downloaded AIM, internet answering machine, and Kazaa, so I'm all set. Now I just need some CDs so I can start copying. But alas, I'm practically broke of course. I'm supposd to be tutoring this girl soon though. But then, I still need to save that money for Christmas/Birthday presents. I'll probably start saving up lunch money too. I hate being broke, and I wish I could get a job, but I can't it seems. No one will hire me, and even if they did, my mom won't drive me i don't believe. Or at least she says so. Can't wait til I get to college. If I go to UAB (which I probably will) I will have money. I mean, I've got tuition and fees and residency paid for. So If I get work study, there's my food. I think I'll be okay. I did send off an application to Vandy though, got a fee waiver and we'll jsut see what happens. I probably won't get enough money, but you never know...

My Thanksgiving sucked. Seriously. We didn't even leave on time Wednesday because my sister was sick. When we did, we had to drive 9 hours to SC. I did not want to go...I don't like that side of the family for the most part--especially my grandfather. We spent like 7 hours at my cousin's house eating and stuff, and I felt lonely despite being surrounded by 40 people. And then we all got sick, me, mom, and Laura Kate. So we all rode the 9 hours back feeling bad and here I am. What a sucky holiday. Lol, I complain too much don't I? I really do hav ea lot to be thankful for, and I am, but sometimes...gosh I dunno. I'm feeling bad right now. Think I'm going to end this here and go eat and then take a nap or something. Tata for now.