Sugar, spice, snails, puppy dog tails

Illusions of adequacy

         A very close friend of mine has a unique way of insulting people who act as if they were better than others when not true, or who thinks they are an expert in an area when the opposite is true. Mary accuses those people of having illusions of adequacy. Even if the person hears the comment, he goes on his merry way without realizing he has been insulted. Talk about a hidden "put down," Mary manages that very well.

         Many people have illusions of adequacy, according to Mary's meaning, as most of us know. Even I have been guilty at times in my life. I work hard not to be, but human as I am, I have failed at times. On Stories.Com, I have read many comments from authors who are upset because someone not as well trained, educated, or experienced tears their writings apart with reviews that are not helpful but vindictive, or gives ratings of three, two, or one without reason. One author wrote that she resented teenagers without a clue rating her work low and making crude comments about her lack of writing knowledge, when she has a degree in writing and makes her living writing. I have had people, some hiding behind "anonymous," attacking me personally on my subject without evaluating how well I wrote. Good examples of those with illusions of adequacy, I believe.

         However, lately I've been thinking of illusions of adequency in a different context than Mary's, not as an comment on the behavior of others, but as a limitation of myself: illusions of adequency as opposite of illusions of grandeur. If I believe I'm greater than I am, greater than I have worked to be, than I have earned, or that I deserve to be, then I would have illusions of grandeur. My problem is not having illusions of grandeur, but of limiting myself to illusions of adequacy, of being content to be adequate, barely sufficient or enough. I want to be brave enough to stretch my abilities, my dreams, my talents, my efforts to be more than adequate. I want to reach toward the stars; I may never touch them; but I want to come as close as humanly possible. I want to improve, to grow, to learn, and to become more and better than I am now. Content to have illusions of adequacy, not I. I yearn for the grandeur, and not for grandeur to be illusive, but for grandeur to be mine, earned and deserved.

Viv, the teacher


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