Sugar, spice, snails, puppy dog tails

Regrets, remorse, rewards, rejoicing

Last night, I held a wiggly, huggable package of three-year-old energy for as often and as long as he would allow. He would migrate from my lap to PaPa's and back with a few stops to examine the bag of treats we had brought, since he wasn't able to come to our house for trick-or-treat a few night earlier. He finally paused long enough to eat his dinner before returning for hugs and a quick wrestling match with his favorite person, next to his mother, PaPa. We can't imagine our lives without our great grandson - now. Four years ago, we couldn't imagine having a great grandchild.

We had sensed that our granddaughter faced problems, but I thought talking to her mother about our concerns would be sufficient. Coward that I was, I feared addressing my ex-son-in-law directly would cause a confrontation, leading to a loss of our grandchild. (My daughter did talk to her ex-husband about our observations and fears, but he thought us meddling and, well, worse.) The situation in that home deteriorated until she left, encouraged to do so by a man about seven or eight years older than she (at that time she was a sophomore in high school, fifteen years old). Regrets: we hadn't taken a more active role in helping our granddaughter.

For months, the family lived not knowing where she was, if she were healthy or in need, if she were alive. Finally, we heard, even if not directly, that she was alive and with the man, that they had been hiding, even living in a tent on the river. Also we heard that she was expecting a baby. Remorse: Our granddaughter, so young, would face being a mother while she, herself, was still a child. As rather conservative people, to us a baby out of wedlock (old fashioned term) was not a reason for celebration.

Still afraid of what her father might do to the man, the couple stayed hidden, but I started watching the birth notices in the paper. Finally, my search found results: my granddaughter's name, the notice of the birth of a son, the hospital's name. I called the hospital, located about ten miles away. The receptionist transferred my call to her room. She was shocked, wanted to know who had contacted me. Finally she agreed we could come to the hospital. Reward: We finally had contact with the granddaughter we loved so much.

When we stepped into that room about an hour later, when we saw that beautiful baby, we fell in love completely and irrevocably. As I held him, I knew that out of heartache had come a miracle. Reward: A love for and returned from a wonderful, beautiful little boy became ours.

Now, we rejoice in this amazing creation from God. He has brought joy into our lives that cannot be measured. Our hearts broke when he cried to go with us last night; but our hearts were also gladdened that he wanted to be with us. The love we receive from him and feel for him can be compared only with that from and for his mother. (No, I cannot forget my other grandchildren because they are also as important, as are my children, but they are another story, another time.)

Therefore, I sit here today remembering, re-living, and rejoicing because the regrets and remorse are completely in the past while the present holds only the rewards and joy of a bright, beautiful great grandson.

Viv the Granny

My Method for Rating  (E) An idea of how I rate and what I expect for a rating of 5.0 stars. #559025 by Vivian

Sugar, spice, snails, puppy dog tails  (ASR) Jots of thoughts as they flit through the rummage of my mind. #551218 by Vivian

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