My Journal

is it me?

It's funny how life works. I suppose I'm still in a depressed state, and for the moment I choose to blame it on the weather. It's been raining non-stop for over a week! I've forgotten what the sun looks like..
I told you all yesterday how I felt like I was meant for somthing more than the norm, like I have somthing else that's meant for me. I still feel that way, but I'm not sure why. I was told once that I have a gift, but as of now I have no idea what it is. I wish it would hurry up and show itself. I feel like I need to have a good cry and then I'll feel better, but why I feel this way remains a mystery to me. Maybe it's just me? Maybe I'm just wierd, I don't know. I wish I could fly away from everything. If I could do one thing, it would be to fly. To clear my mind and just fly and not worry about anything..if only for a minute. As this is not possible I'm stuck using my limited means. The only time I can really get the feeling of freedom is when I'm dancing. To me it's the ultimate expression. I'm so free when I dance, it's like I can be anywhere, like I could touch the sky if only I would reach. But then the music ends, and so does my freedom and I'm returned to the cycle of my life...school, homework, eat, sleep, blah blah blah. I'm not some punk rebel or anything..I just wish I could do more, be more. I hate my limitations. I want to touch the sky, I want to break these chains that tie me down. I feel like a bird tied to an anchor...if only someone would cut my rope. God bless you all for putting up with this depressing stuff. Ta ta